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Moto-Humor #2

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     Here's the second page of jokes and humorous bits about motorcycling and camping. If you have any good 'uns, send 'em to me! Newest jokes are at the top of the list and each new joke/bit begins in RED.  
Use the link here or at the bottom of the page for more motorycle humor on page one, page three, or page four.


What if Motorcycles were made by:

     People who own Italian motorcycles don't really OWN the bikes, they just have the privilege of paying for their upkeep.

     What's the difference between a good ol' huntin' dawg and yer old Harley? The dawg kin get into the pickup truck by hisself!

     Father Tim Dempsey was making his rounds, visiting his parishoners by riding his OLD motorcycle to their homes, when his bike suddenly died, and coasted to a stop alongside the road.
     Father Tim checked the fuel tank, the gas filter, the plugs, but could find nothing wrong. He stepped on the kick start, gave it his best effort, but no joy, the bike didn't fire. Gritting his teeth grimly, Father Tim gave it another valiant try, but again the bike failed to turn over.
     About that time, a wee lad approached Father Tim and asked what he was doing. "Tryin' to start me bike, my son," the good Father replied, jumping on the crank once more, with no effect.
     "My pa has an old bike like that," the kid offered. "If you want it to start, you have cuss at it while you're jumping up and down."
     "Well, I'm a priest and I cannot cuss. Why, it's been so long since I was saved by Jesus, I do not even remember how to cuss," the priest said, smiling at the youth.
     "Well," the kid said, turning to walk away, "just keep on trying to kick start that pig, and it'll come back to yah!"

     Top Ten "Biker Pick-Up Lines" - As presented on the 02/22/96 broadcast of "LATE SHOW" with DAVID LETTERMAN - any of you "biker wannabes" should remember these, use them the next time you want to act like, or (BETTER YET!) impress a motorcycle rider (especially one with a long beard and pot belly - male or female).

     Why don't the British make computers?
They couldn't get them to stop leaking oil when sitting idle.

     Top Ten Ways to LOSE 'Cool' Riding Points:

     >Top Ten Ways to GAIN 'Cool' Riding Points

     The nine types of customers at a motorcycle shop

     A truck driver was eating breakfast at a lunch counter, when a gang of motorcycle tough-guys entered the diner. One of the bikers put his finger into the truck driver's coffee and said, "Hmm, not very hot, is it?" A second biker put HIS finger into the scrambled eggs and said, "Hmm, not very fluffy, are they?" Without saying a word, the trucker arose, left his table, paid for his meal and went out the door of the diner.
    "Wasn't much of a man, was he?", the gang leader laughed.
    "He's no great shakes as a driver, neither", replied the waitress. "He done jist run over a bunch of them motorcycles on his way out of the lot!"

     Guide to M/C Tools:

Psst! Wanna see more? Check out page one, page three or page four.
Last Updated on 24 June, 1998. Send your submissions of motorcycle jokes to me, today! Doc's mailbox gif
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