Well, enough of his work history, the Bransby is a typical group member with his excessive alcohol addiction. Not a day goes by without the Bransby not being a little tipsy. Even prior to us going to the gym or playing squash he usually manages a few drinks before hand. Now the thing is that he will drink heavy amounts, BUT, rule of thumb for all of you, if you want to keep him up past one or two o clock, make sure you don't let him sit down. Have you ever seen a man make himself go unconsious, I have. That man was Bransby.
When Damian is sober, one of his favorite activities is driving his fancy new Volkswagon Golf at speeds that I didn't even know existed. The thing that I find funny is it takes him four hours to get ready to leave his house, but, once he is outside everything speeds up dramatically, car is being driven fast, food is being eaten at speeds that will not let the normal person breathe, and booze, well, you know about that already.
Its now time for THE 3 FAMOUS MOMENTS!!!!!
1) Story number one takes place on his birthday a few years ago, I believe it was his 19th but I'm not sure on that one. We decided to go out and rent a motel room for the night to celebrate which was excellent, but, problem was we had no Bransby for a good part of the night, he had a staff party at the wine shop to go to first. That was his first mistake, Kuzek went to pick him up downtown and when they got back to the shop it was the Bransby at his best. Wine stains pretty much everywhere you look on him, black teeth and all that good stuff. So he comes charging in the door and automatically wants his birthday beats, so of course whenever we have the opportunity we beat him down, but I've never seen anyone want so much punishment before. He then proceeds to fix his underwear that was wedged up apparantly, and to do this he just rips his pants right off and gives everybody in the room a little peep show. After all the laughing settled down, the Bransby started feeling a little freaky and then picked up Candice and hauled her into the washroom for a little fun, not quite sure what was going on in there, but there certainly was a lot of girly laughter going on, by Damian that is. Oh, and I guess that when he throws a towel out of the washroom, that means stay out. All in all, good famous night for Bransby.
2)The second story takes part pretty much all over the Calgary Northwest. Back in the day we never really needed a place to drink, we would pretty much just set up shop in a field and go at it. This night Bransby decides to take his chances with Lambs White Rum, and I'll tell you this, he had a good experience. Sitting in the parking lot of Mac's in crowfoot, Bransby has gone through probably about a 2 6 of rum, so hes feeling pretty good, and he decides that he is going into the store to buy something, he then believes that two pennies should be sufficient to buy anything in the store. He walks up to the till throws his two cents on to the counter and walks out the door with his purchase believing nothing is wrong, luckily Martin was standing behind him to pay the bill. Once outside its time for Bransby to try his hand at chewing tobacco, he takes a nice amount of this chew and puts it into his mouth, you know, all good, not really. What Damian forgot to do is actually chew it and spit it out, he believed swallowing the whole thing would be a wise idea, anyways, let me put it this way, the chew eventually came back up minutes later in a much more disgusting form.
3) Now this third and final story is one I'm sure the Bransby doesn't want me to tell but dude, when you write my profile, you can put anything you want on it. All right, it was a Monday night this time and Bryans cousins were in town for the week, we all decided to take them to our former weekly watering hole, The Fox In Ferkin. So we all have a good time and get a good drink on for the night. After the night concluded for most of us, Bransby managed to hook up with Bryans cousin and get an invite up to their hotel room. This, I'm sure, was making the Bransby quite excited .......but.........
heres a question for all of you dudes out there....Which room do you put your condom on?...the Bransby puts his on in the bathroom which is all good, but not really that good when you come back and the girl your with is fast asleep. Goodnight Bransby. Pretty standard Damian luck.
Well thats about it for the Bransby all in all hes just a working machine who gets drunk a lot, thats about how to paraphrase him.