Martin is a guy who doesn't really know too much about anything, but, the things he does know about, I got to say he knows well, such as airplanes, rock music and when the new Britney Spears album is coming out. No I am not joking about the Britney Spears, just ask him to do the dance steps to Hit Me Baby One More Time, he will do it.
Another one of Martins favorite past times is putting holes in his parents walls, "Oh well that must have been when he was just a kid" you say, OH NO, this all happens whenever his parents decide to leave him by himself so he can throw another gong show of a party. Whats the count at now Martin.....4 I think.
But lets be fair, many of us witnessed Bryan Anderson be part of the one hole in the garage.
When Martins not out getting himself all messed up on drugs, getting boozed or running into things, him and Todd Anderson are doing a surprisingly reasonable job at managing a few bands here in the city. If anybody wants to learn some more about their little record industry or would like to know about their next gig, just contact Martin at his e mail address located under the e mail list above.
Well thats just about enough support for Martin. Lets move on.
Its time for THE 3 FAMOUS MOMENTS!!!!
1) While reading these three moments I just want to mention that they all have one thing in common, they are all near death experiences, so for those of you with heart problems, please don't read ahead. I'm going to start with one that really I don't know what the hell he was thinking. It was at one of his parties quite a few years ago and the night was really fun, everybody was getting quite messed up, but not quite as messed up as Martin. By the end of the night Martin was hugging the porcelein god upstairs, don't worry it wasn't the first or last time he was the most screwed up at his own party. But anyways, nothing wrong with that, but rule number one when dealing with Martin, don't put him in water when he is drunk. Katrina decides that Martin, not feeling well at the time, could use a nice warm bath to help him get back to reality and relax a little bit, not such a shit hot idea really. While the bath was running, Martin leans over and his head goes directly into the bath tub of water, lets all remember that Martin is still passed out and has no idea where he is. Luckily somebody, I can't remember who, came to pull his head out of the water, so yes, he did manage to dodge drowning on that one.
2) Famous moment number two is very much similar to moment number one. This one took place at a summer party at Candice Perry's house in her backyard. It was a very nice night and as usual we all had our fair amount of liquor intake. Candice this night had the hot tub out for the guests to enjoy and relax in, which in most cases is a pretty damn good idea. PROBLEM. When Martin Schubert shows up at a party, move all water materials away. Martin decides to go take a little wombass over to the hot tub and falls right in, fully clothed, back first After watching him struggle to get out of the water for a while and realizing he might just drown, trusty old Bransby came to the rescue to pull him out. Anybody noticing a trend here.
3) Ok, the near death drowning stories are done for. But this next story is a doozy. Penticton 2001, right now I'm sure Martin is shaking his head. The previous night we had all stopped near Sicamous to stay the night and most of us just had a few beers to wet or whistle, Martin on the other hand got pretty blitzed and the next day was just not feeling that well. So, we get to Penticton, around one or two o clock that day and find ourselves a nice place to camp. That afternoon four of us, Bransby, Kuzek, Davey B, and myself all take off to go play some golf leaving Big Mike and Martin to fend for themselves, another word of advice, don't leave these two together for too long. Anyways, Martin, still not feeling well from the night before took a couple tylenol right when we got to the site to mend his headache. But, after we all left for the golf course, Mike opens the bottle of vodka and the two of them managed to plow their way through about half a forty of vodka in about 4 hours. Now it was a very warm day at this point with temperatures reaching the high 30's. We all get back to the camp site after golf and see Mike and Martin laying on their backs in the direct sunlight, Mike with one of the biggest sunburns I have ever seen and Martin looking like he was nearing death. Now for Mike all this heat exhaustion and booze didn't effect him, but, for Martin who had taken tylenol directly before all this laying in the sun and vodka, oh dear. Martin broke the record for longest vomit rally, 12 hours he went. We all now think that a hospital should have been in order that night. Oh, and, don't bring this up to Kuzek. He had a little encounter in the middle of the night with Martin in the tent. Rule. Don't put a sick man in the middle of a tent, actually, don't put a sick man in a tent at all.
Well thats it for Martin, we are all quite surprised he is still with us, but I think Martin has really learned quite a bit from all his mistakes. We all know their is a countless number of them.