rhino

The Magical Story of That Time a Rhinocerous Got Really Mad At an Ostrich Even Though a Fox Tried To Talk Him Out of It

One day a rhinoceros and a fox were watching an ostrich climb down a tree.

"What are you doing?" they asked the ostrich.
"Uh...nothing," the ostrich replied. "I'm hiding something REALLY great, and you'll never get to see it!" she finally decided.

The fox ran to the library...

"Ostriches are horrible at keeping secrets," the fox read. "So, just ask her again and she will probably forget she didn't want you to know, and tell you what she hid in the tree."

"Screw you! You horrible little skank," the ostrich screamed. "You'll never find out what I hid in that tree!"

"She's a bitch," the rhino thought aloud. "I should beat her up, then make her show me what's in the tree!"

The fox sang the rhino a song about loving ostriches and being really nice to all sorts of birds and about how everyone should be friends, and it's bad to be nosy about what's in trees, and about how masturbating will make you blind, and how eating pickles and slim jims will make you puke...

The rhino sat there, with a reflective look upon his wrinkled grey face, and finally openned his mouth to speak. "You're right, I should just beat up the TREE!"
Then, the rhino began his charge.