Phoenix's Jokes

This is a collaberation of jokes I felt were worthy of being shared. Feel free to email me with any ones that you have and think are worthy. If you have already heard them well, bite me!

Blonde Jokes

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch- typists A: The rest are hunt and peckers Q: What is a blonde doing when she is holding her hands over her ears? A: Trying to keep her thought. Q: What do you call a blonde with PMS and ESP? A: A know it all Bitch Q: Whats six inches long, has a bald head and drives women crazy? A: a hundred dollar bill Q: What job function does a blonde have at a M&M factory? A: proofreading

Short Stories

A little boy sends a letter to god asking for 1 hundred dollars to get a new bike. The post office recieves this letter and not knowing who else to send it to, they send it to the president. The president reads the  letter. He thinks it is cute and sends 10 dollars back to the boy. The president later gets a letter saying, " Thanks god for trying but I see the goverment took its usual 90%"

A lawyer is standing at a long line at a post office box. He suddenly feels a pair of hands on his shoulders and they slowly move to his back. The lawyer turns, "Why are you massaging my back"?  "I am mearly keeping in practice, I am a massage therapist." The lawyer then says . "Well I am a damn Lawyer you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Question: If fathers have fathers day and mothers have mothers day, what do single guys have? Answer: Palm Sunday Question: The Lapd , The FB and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The president decides to give them a test. He relaeases a rabbit into the forest for them to catch. The CIA goes in. Place informants throughtout the fores. They all plant witnesses. After three months they conclude that the rabbit does not exist. The FBI goes in after two weeks without the rabbit they go in and burn the whole forest down , including the rabbit, and dont applogize because the rabbit they claim, had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a bear shouting "OK, Ok I am a rabbit!"

More to come soon