I grew up thinking love was just like they showed in the fairy tales. I figured when I got older someone would just come and sweep me away and we would live happily ever after. Then later when I started dating I relized how neive I was to think this and how complex love really is. There is really no knight in shining armor, of course this makes sence being that I am not a princess.
In my senior year of highschool we did a skit called "What happend after the fairy tale". This is something I thought was a great idea. We had it like a Jerry Springer show and everyone had lots of fun and the skit was hilarious. Repunzel had a fight with Sleeping beauty over the prince and at the end the prince walked away from both to be with the queen. One reason I liked doing this skit is it showed the complexity of life. It showed that even though things look perfect on the outside, this is not always so on the inside.
Love is neither a completly good thing nor a bad thing. No, I am not a cynic, I just happen to see love at a realistic level. Love can destroy a person. It can also make a person motivated to do something they didn't have the motivation for. It can cause u to loose sleep, to not eat , and to completly depressed. It can also cause a feeling of extreme happiness , contentment and acceptance. These feelings depend on alot of things. Mostly the bad results of love are due to loving someone who does not love you back, or loving someone you can not have. Though there are occasions when you love someone and the bad out weigh the good, but you are to scared about being alone to break off the relationship.
To me I associate love with certain key characteristics. I need honesty, acceptance, communication, trust, compatibility, chemisty, and loyalty in a relationship.
Honesty: I can not love someone I do not trust. If I can not feel comfortable sharing anything with that person this is not going to be a lasting relationship.
Acceptance: If the person is constantly judging me and can not look over my faults then this is gonna cuz me to eventually have lower self esteem, and that will hurt me in the long run.
Communication: If I can not simply just talk to the person I am with it is useless to continue the relationship. The fun stuff can only sustain you for so long. Eventually you will need to talk and understand eachother.
trust: This is pretty much like honesty. If I can not trust you then I will be too buzy being paranoid to be a good girl friend.
Chemistry: If you kiss someone and feel nothing then there is no point to trying to date. You can not be in love without the passion that comes with it. No chemistry is equalled to no passion.
Loyalty: No, i do not think your signifigant other should go fetch the paper everyday for you :P. I just think your significant other should be devoted to you and no one else. This also helps eliviate the need for jelousy and helps build trust.
I have thought about this at one point. Then I relized its dumb to worry about. You should not look at the man u are dating and say hmm can I see marrying you. Well of course you cant, cuz you don't know eachother that well. I look at the guy and think can I see this being possibly long term. Now, long term to me can be a short amount of time. To me long term is more in emotion. IF its just fun the most emotion there will be is caring for the person. If I see it as long term I see falling in love or at leaste loving the person as a possibility. I think if the relationship is gonna head toward marriage it will without much thought. Love at first sight might exist but I am skeptical. If u are serius about the relationship at the right time Marriage will seem right. Planning your wedding from day One, is why relationships fail a lot. Easy to scare your significant other that way.
