Judith's Story Page 4

The prayers and the funeral were all perfectly fitting, and beautiful. We hosted my aunt, (my mother's sister) at our place. She mentioned to me that at the funeral, they had pulled the casket away too quickly - she had wanted to touch it to say goodbye to her mother. We went to Tulsa for the graveside service, since that was where my grandmother's grave had been purchased some 60 years previously. She was to be buried next to my grandfather. They both believed in the bodily resurrection of the dead, and for this reason, they wanted to be buried together, so that on the last day they will rise together. I remember reflecting that Father Alex once told me that this is a Roman Catholic belief. The graveside service was held on November 1, All Saints Day on the Roman Catholic calendar. Just before the service began, I touched the casket on my aunt's behalf, (because she couldn't be there) and said to my grandmother, "This is from Marilyn. She loves you and she wanted to say goodbye." This was my first actual experience of speaking to someone who has passed on into Heaven, but at the time it felt perfectly natural. I finally understood what the Catholics mean when they speak of "praying to the Saints." In addition, when I wrote to my aunt and told her I had done this, she responded, "You have no idea how much better that made me feel, knowing you did that, and told her that." My aunt is an atheist, and surrounds herself with atheists, and as far as I know, has never encountered any Roman Catholics or any beliefs about talking to those who have gone to Heaven. If this seemed natural and normal to her, of all people, then there must be something in the way God has designed us, that when we are not on the defensive, we expect this kind of thing; it is not only not unnatural, it is a relief to the soul to know that it can and has been done. So I had all of these emotions and all of this history coming together and waking something up inside me. I spent a few weeks analyzing my feelings, coming to terms with my grandmother's death, and the events surrounding it. I felt called to become Roman Catholic on November 28, 2000, at about 6:30 in the evening, while speaking on the telephone to someone. I had this really strong sensation that Jesus was saying to me, "It's time. You need to become Catholic, and you need to become Catholic right now." My first priority was to make certain that this was indeed Jesus speaking, and not just my own wish for an easy way out, or even the Devil. So I prayed about it for two days. For the whole two days, I felt as if my whole body was full of electricity, just like that first time that I had gone to Mass. I was feeling incredibly happy, even though I was still in mourning for my grandmother. Even so, I argued with Jesus about this. I said "Didn't you put me at Knox when I was born, because that was where you needed me?" And he replied, "Yes I did, and you have served me well there, but now I require you to obey the call I have been making to you these seventeen years." I'm not quite sure why I thought this next argument would be a particularly good one, but then I said, " Am I not supposed to honor my mother and my father? This will make my mother very upset." Jesus said to me, "Who made you? You belong to me, not to her." So on November 30, 2000, at about 7:00 pm, I said to Jesus, "Yes, I will become Catholic." And I then said to my husband, "I think I want to become Catholic, and I think I want to talk to a priest." His eyes bugged out and he stared at the wall for a minute, and then he said, "As long as I don't have to do anything, it's okay with me." It took me a few days to get my courage up, but I met with Father Patrick Cramer on December 20, 2000, and, on his advice, I resigned from my committees, passed my Sunday School class to someone else, and stopped attending Knox.

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