~Weekend Update with Frisco~
Cast: Frisco as herself
Fancy as Halo
Scat as Scat Cat
Carnation as Fast Cat
Frisco: Good evening, I’m
Frisco, and I have three words for you: don’t go there.
Our top story tonight: the Dallas gift show will
be held starting next Friday, where Ty will unveil new Beanies. Some of those
new Beanies will then be sold at reduced prices at presale auctions on eBay.
A postcard advertising the summer gift shows have
pictures of new bears similar to the New York Bear, this time an orange bear
with “I Love Atlanta”, a brown bear with “I Love Texas”, a yellow bear with “I
Love L.A.”, and a blue bear with “I Love Chicago”. Which means in Ty’s opinion,
Virginia is not for lovers.
The bears will be limited to 108 per show, and
then Ty will magically make millions more.
Tuesday morning, the Sam trio said was retired on
Ty’s web site. The Sams’ retirement gives new meaning to the phrase “your
uncle’s moving to Florida”.
On Ty Talk, a reader on the Bright Ideas board
suggested the name “Captain the kangaroo”, after the late Captain Kangaroo.
Also, be sure to look out for the new Beanie Boppers Sonny and Cher.
Info Beanie polls opened on Tuesday, and at the
moment, Garfield is in the lead. If elected, Garfield’s first move would be to
declare July 31 “Lasagna Day”.
“Beanieday Night Live” took a ten-month hiatus
since attendance went down. And now, we’ve moved from The Beanie Zoo to Beanie
Trade Pals, which was formerly Beanie Babies Pen Pals. While Carnation, Rumba,
and Colosso don’t really know the place too well, I remember the first time I
came here…
(fade to flashback when Frisco appeared at Beanie
Trade Pals’ first anniversary chat)
Frisco (as Emma Whiskers): Moderators, I hope you
learn a lesson tonight… BBPP stands for Biased Beanie Porno People! Don’t
salute them! This is their first and only year ever!
(back to the Update
desk)
Frisco: Great times. Boy,
was I wrong.
Former Beanie community heartthrob, and I’m only saying that since was 13 when he got into the biz. That’s for you, desperate single females who got nothing better to do than pick your faces. Former Beanie community heartthrob-turned-photographer Michael Salerno, best known for his web site Michael’s Beantown, has been placing auctions on eBay for Beanies he wants to sell to raise money for a good camera. Here now to comment is one of the Beanie Buddies currently available for auction, Halo.
Halo: Hello, Frisco! Do you
realize I’m a cute, fuzzy, little angel bear? I’m so heavenly, I can repent
anybody’s sins! It’s such a shame because me and my twin Halo 2 are being
auctioned off on eBay with our friends Mellow, Osito, Libearty, and Celebrate!
Frisco: Well, your owner hates
you.
Halo: My owner hates me? He
would never abandon me! He collected us beary, stuffy things for six years! Why
would he stop?
Frisco: Snap, snap, snap, snap!
You had a picture taken of you, right?
Halo: Yes, I did. Gotta have a picture on eBay with your digital camera
and stuff.
Frisco: Well, that’s what your
owner likes to do. He likes to take pictures of things. He wants to get into it
more. And he needs to finance it.
Halo: But why us? Why not his
collection of Power Ranger toys or his counterfeit stamps?
Frisco: He threw it all out.
Halo: But the good news is,
the auction for the six of us has no bids yet, so we won’t be leaving yet!
Frisco: But it’s still going
on, so you might leave. You never know – one bid seals the deal, and it could
be made the second before the auction ends.
Halo: No! No! I’d rather be
forced to see “Fahrenheit 9/11” than be given to some different owner!
Frisco: Would you like to move
back to New York, if you got a bid from a New Yorker?
Halo: And live in a smelly apartment facing the Fox News studio? No way!
Frisco: Well, whatever works
for you. I wish the best of luck to you and the other Buddies moving away.
Halo: I don’t wanna move!!!
Frisco: Halo, everybody!
Halo:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A recent Ty Talk post mentioned that in a video called “Collecting Beanie Babies For Fun and Profit”, the name “Ty” is pronounced like the letters T.Y. Hopefully they won’t make another one of those videos and pronounce the Beanie Baby dog’s name as B.O.
Also on Ty Talk… Halo, you’re gonna like this.
Also on Ty Talk, concerning the Sam retirement, crazy4bbeanies posted the topic
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” True story, people. Actually, think
twice – you can get the Sams cheap on eBay now Every Beanie that’s rare and
retired eventually goes down to a penny.
On eBay, a prototype Peanut the elephant Beanie
Baby with a PAX hangtag with solid blue ears is available with a Buy It Now
price of $3,000. Hmm, how about I trade in my engagement ring so I can get an
ultra-rare Beanie Baby? That would be smart. Then the men would be all over me.
Dominion the moose, a Ty Store exclusive
introduced with a ribbon has been shipped without a ribbon, and it’s Ty.com
photo has been updated to show he does not have a ribbon. So for those of you
that hate it when moose wear things around their necks, now you don’t have to
worry!
Last week, Ray Charles, one of the greatest
musicians of our time, died at the age of 73. And yesterday, his memorial was
held in Los Angeles. Here now with a musical tribute to Ray Charles, obviously
uninvited to the memorial, are Scat and the Cats.
Scat Cat: Thank you! Did
everybody me-my-muh-my miss us?
Fast Cat: We’re totally
trip-trip-trippin’ out to buh-buh-be here!
Scat Cat: We’re glad to be paying
tribute to one of my favorite singers, Ray Charles, who died last Thursday.
Frisco: Wait, why don’t we have
somebody like BB King or Stevie Wonder or Billy Joel do a tribute? Every time
you guys come here, you stink up the place. I remember when the MTV veejay JJ
Jackson died, and you got sued by his family for singing as a tribute, “Video
Killed the Radio Star”.
Scat Cat: Fast Cat and I promise
not to do anything wacky this time. I mean, Fat Cat died of diabetes a few
months ago, and we sold more records than we did since 1978!
Frisco: How much?
Scat Cat: Two hundred!
Frisco: Have you heard of the
pop singer Usher? He’s selling more records than you guys have ever sold in
your entire life.
Fast Cat: Does it look like we
care? We don’t change our musical style. We wished John Stevens would win
American Idol. But it’s cool that Fantasia won – she sang “Summertime” from our
favorite composer, George Gershwin, from our favorite musical, “Porgy and
Bess”!
Scat Cat: We’re all you got, too.
Don’t forget, Frisco, Billy Joel was invited to perform here once, but then he
crashed his car into your house. I remember you told him, “No deal! Now, get
out of here, Mark McGwire!”
Frisco: I nearly forgot about
that. All right, then. What will you be performing?
Scat Cat: We’re going to get in trouble if we sing “Hit the Road Jack”,
so we’re going to perform “Georgia on My Mind”.
Frisco: Okay, but don’t mess it
up.
Scat Cat: 1, 2, 3!
(jazz music plays Ray Charles’ “Georgia on My Mind”)
Scat Cat: (singing) “Georgia,
Georgia, the whole day through, just a sweet old song keeps Georgia on my
mind!”
Fast Cat: “Talkin’ bout Georgia,
Georgia, a song of you…
Scat and Fast: Comes as sweet and clear as moonlight through
the pines!”
Scat Cat: “Other arms reach out to me, other eyes smile
tenderly, still in peaceful dreams I see…”
Fast Cat: “The road leads back to you!”
Scat and Fast: “Georgia, oh Georgia, no peace I find, just a sweet old
song keeps Georgia on my mind!
Georgia, oh
Georgia, no peace I find, just a sweet old song keeps Georgia on my mind!”
Frisco: I would love to join your group.
Scat Cat: Really?
Frisco: (singing) “Hit the road, cats,
And don’t come back
no more no more no more no more!
Hit the road, Scat
and Fast, and don’t come back no more!”
Scat Cat: But I thought you liked us!
Fast Cat: You said you wanted to join our group!
Frisco: I was being sarcastic. Now get out.
Scat Cat: Don’t worry. We got a deal to be on the
Ramones tribute album. “Hey, ho, let’s go!”
Frisco: You can’t sing anything.
Fast Cat: Yes we can. After all, we’re Scat and the
Cats…
Scat and Fast: The most be-bop-a-loo-bop swing/jazz/classic rock/cover band in America!
Frisco: Scat and the Cats, everybody! That’s the
news! Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow!