~Fantasy Dragino and Siam Cowell~

Cast: Frisco as Siam Cowell

Kookie as hotel clerk

Pegasus as Fantasy Dragino

Fancy as Diana Felino

Shasta as fan

Siam Cowell: I’ll be staying for three nights. My name is Lucifer Dickinson.

Hotel clerk: Okay, we have a private room available on the second floor if you’re okay with that.

Siam Cowell: I hope it’s a good room if I have to climb up a flight of stairs to get there.

Hotel clerk: Okay, just sign here.

(Fantasy Dragino enters)
Fantasy Dragino: Oh, my god! It’s Siam! Siam, how you doin’?
Siam Cowell: Do I remember you from somewhere?
Fantasy Dragino: It’s me, Fantasy Dragino! I’m the winner of “American Idol”, Siam!

Siam Cowell: Wow, Fon-ta-si! How are you doing?
Fantasy Dragino: Well, I’m staying here while I’m on tour with my best friends from “Idol”, and my single debuted at number one!

Siam Cowell: I’m so glad you’re doing great for yourself, because I think, hands down, you’re the best contestant who’s ever been on “Idol” or any other talent show in existence. I think those people from “Star Search” can do way better than you.

Fantasy Dragino: I know, Siam! I love saying your name, Siam! It brings pleasure to my tongue!

Siam Cowell: Fon-ta-si, I didn’t want you saying my name out loud. I’m checked in as Lucifer Dickinson. I don’t want anyone to know I’m here or else… (mocking) “Omygod, I love you, Siam! You’re so cute and cuddly! I want to make out with you! Blah blah blah blah!”

Fantasy Dragino: I’m so sorry! But Ryan Seadog liked it when I said your name like that! Siam, Siam, Siam!

Siam Cowell: Loved your voice, too. You sounded like Macy Gracie with that sinus thing going on. But there had always been something about it I liked.

Fantasy Dragino: I’m a dragon, that’s why! I got that dragon thing goin’ on!

Siam Cowell: Yeah. That’s good. Not like those birds who sing so dreadful.

Fantasy Dragino: How come you never sang for us?
Siam Cowell: If I were to sing on national television, it would make a mockery out of everything I stand for. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand a lot of the music of today…and even yesterday. Why? Everyone kills my favorite songs during auditions.

Hotel clerk: And who might you be?

Diana Felino: Kim Jones. I’m…not famous.

Hotel clerk: Really? You look famous.

Diana Felino: Nope. Never did anything for anybody famous, even.

Hotel clerk: Okay. You know, you remind me of that girl from “America’s Most Talented Kid”.

Diana Felino: Nope. Was never on that show.

Hotel clerk: Just saying. Okay, you’re checked in.

Diana Felino: Thanks. Oh my god! It’s my bestest friends from “American Idol”: Fantasy Dragino and Siam Cowell!

Fantasy Dragino: Wow! It’s Diana Felino!

Diana Felino: I can’t believe it! Like, we’re in the same hotel! We can have, like, our own slumber party! Would you be up for that? Not you, you little bringer downer.

Siam Cowell: You were too young for the competition, and the way you sang on the finale, hitting that high note, was terrifying. It was like living a bad dream.

Diana Felino: Well, I couldn’t help it.

Fantasy Dragino: You can’t help it! You don’t have what I have!

Diana Felino: What’s that?
Fantasy Dragino: You don’t have the bobo!

Siam Cowell: I told you, Fon-ta-si, stop saying that.

Fantasy Dragino: Bobo?
Siam Cowell: Yes. Nobody has any idea what that means.

Fantasy Dragino: I gotta call room service. I want to be eatin’, eatin’ and more eatin’.

Diana Felino: Like, can I come with you?
Fantasy Dragino: Sure! We love eatin’! Gotta eat with the bobo!
Diana Felino: You wanna join us, Siam? Last chance, Mr. Downer.

Siam Cowell: Fast forward an hour later – “This is the worst party in the world.” Then you’ll do your William Hung impression, “I have no professional training in throwing slumber parties.”

Fantasy Dragino: Nice meeting you again, Siam!
Siam Cowell: You too, Fon-ta-si.

(Siam walks up to staircase before being recognized by someone)
Fan: Hey, aren’t you Siam Cowell?