~Trading Spaces~
Cast: Grace as Paige Davis

Baby Boy as Mr. Beanwell

Dippy as Leah Dorfman

Pappa as Frank Bielec

Smitten as Hilda Santo-Tomas

Sport as Ty Pennington

Dublin as Michael Essany

Frisco as Hilda’s cat

Announcer: Ever wish you can redo a friend or relative’s home? Well, then get ready for “Trading Spaces”, with your host, Paige Davis.

Paige Davis: Hello there! Yeah! Welcome to “Trading Spaces”. This show is rated TV-G for “girls only”. I’m Paige Davis, and we’ve got a great show for you. Today we’re doing a Beanie Baby themed edition, where we go into the homes of two Beanie Baby collectors who want their homes redesigned to look more Beanieful. We go to New York, where two Beanie collectors are awaiting their remodeling.

Mr. Beanwell: Hi, I’m Bruce Smith, A.K.A. Mr. Beanwell. I’m an online entertainer and I want my kitchen redesigned so I can have more Beanies added.

Leah Dorfman: Hi, I’m Leah Dorfman. I’m a Ty retailer, and I love this show so much, I don’t watch anything else during the weekends. I need to have my bedroom remodeled so I can look at my Beanies while I sleep.

Paige Davis: Interesting, from two big fans of Beanie Babies. Now, we have given our collectors $1,000, and we assigned each of them a designer to help them out. Frank Bielec will help out Mr. Beanwell, and Hilda Santo-Tomas will help out Leah. Let’s see how Mr. Beanwell works on Leah’s bedroom.

Frank Bielec: Okay, what I think we should do here is add a bunch of Beanies in each corner, then have then lined up like extension cords.

Mr. Beanwell: That will look like a TV that can’t be plugged in, and I think it’s the worst that can happen to a good room! I’m taking over, old man!
Frank Bielec: Old men have feelings, too.

Mr. Beanwell: I thought they didn’t. Anyway, what I think we should do is create a new bed for Leah that also holds her Beanies.

Frank Bielec: Let me draw this out.

Mr. Beanwell: Okay, but don’t take all day. I have to meet my father-in-law in an hour.

Frank Bielec: How does this look?
Mr. Beanwell: That looks like what George Jetson would use to hold heads, you maniac! I want a bed/Beanie case, not a hot tub/head holder!
Frank Bielec: I’m sorry. But the Beanie Buddies need a little space, too.

Mr. Beanwell: That’s what everyone tells me.

Paige Davis: Well, things may not have worked out for Bruce and Frank on day one, but in the meantime, let’s see what Hilda and Leah manage to do.

Leah Dorfman: I don’t want to do a makeover for Mr. Beanwell. He doesn’t help me get into chat rooms.

Hilda Santo-Tomas: If that’s the way you feel, why don’t we design something that reminds him of that?
Leah Dorfman: Not a bad idea. How about we put a few Beanies in empty soda bottles reading “Save us”?
Hilda Santo-Tomas: Yeah, good idea. I like that, actually. This is a kitchen design, so I’d like to include a few ideas, like this napkin holder with a The End bear in it, with the napkin reading, “Call me or else”.

Leah Dorfman: Yeah. He lives 50 blocks away from me. Why can’t he call me?

Hilda Santo-Tomas: You can call him right now. He’s at your own house.

Leah Dorfman: (dials phone) Hello, Mr. Beanwell? Why don’t you ever call me?
Mr. Beanwell: You should just type.

Leah Dorfman: I have carpal tunnel syndrome! I hate typing, d*mmit!

Mr, Beanwell: Well, have your nanny Hilda do it.

Leah Dorfman: And maybe your chef Frank can make you key lime pie?

Mr. Beanwell: You’re wasting valuable designing time!
Leah Dorfman: So are you!
Paige Davis: Trouble in paradise, hmm? Let’s go on to day two of the remodeling, where our carpenter Ty Pennington will help our collectors out.

Ty Pennington: So, is anything wrong with this bed yet?
Frank Bielec: No. It’s coming along just like I wanted it in the picture.

Ty Pennington: This is going to cost you a thousand bucks.

Frank Bielec: But I need health insurance! Oh, wait, we have money. Fine.

Ty Pennington: Yeah, right. The good thing about this reality show is that it isn’t embarrassing.

Frank Bielec: Until now… Ty Pennington, you stink!

(cut to Mr. Beanwell’s testimonial)
Mr. Beanwell: Ty Pennington and Frank Bielec are not a good match together. They work like broken down robots with nothing functioning except their mouths. I want this room to look good.

(back to house)
Ty Pennington: I really think it’s funny. People watch the show to watch homes being remodeled, and this is turning into a piece of garbage. What could possibly be more wrong? (a camera hits Ty in the head) OW! WHY DID A CAMERA JUST HIT ME IN THE HEAD?
Michael Essany: Sorry about that. I’m trying to video the town to see if I can find any celebrities.

Frank Bielec: Oh my God, Michael Essany. I hate him – that talk show host from the E! Channel. First Ty Pennington has to work with me, now this.

Ty Pennington: I thought you lived in Indiana.

Michael Essany: I’m doing a show tonight live from Bill O’Reilly’s bathroom. I don’t know why.

Mr. Beanwell: I hate your show. Do yourself a favor, and don’t do a talk show where you look like Homer Simpson talking to a donut.

Michael Essany: I interviewed a bunch of no-names… that chick from Destiny’s Child, that kid from New Kids on the Block, and that nobody from “Ed”, and you guys join the list! I have to go to that studio now, fools!

Paige Davis: Young talk show host Michael Essany seemed to have rained on Bruce, Frank, and Ty’s parade, but what happened to our good friend Leah? We’ll cut to a commercial break… oh, wait, we don’t have time for a commercial break. We’ll show you now then.

(cut to Leah’s testimonial)
Leah Dorfman: I think I did Mr. Beanwell’s house great. I mean; it’s a great twist after that selfish mysterio-person wouldn’t help me get into that chat room.

(back to house)
Ty Pennington: Hilda, you think it looks good?
Hilda Santo-Tomas: In this case, if it bashes Beanwell, it’s good. I even got my pet cat to demonstrate what it’s like when the cat toys with the… one who isn’t the cat.

Cat: I’m disconnected! I’m disconnected! I’m disconnected! I’m disconnected! I’m disconnected! I’m disconnected!

Ty Pennington: Why is the cat saying that?
Hilda Santo-Tomas: It’s the only thing it’s supposed to say.

Cat: I’m disconnected! I’m disconnected!

Ty Pennington: I should have worked with Christopher Lowell.

Paige Davis: I think we’re canceled. We can’t show you what Mr. Beanwell and Leah Dorfman think of their rooms because they yelled and screamed the whole way through. And just because this is my last show doesn’t mean I’m not happy. I’m Paige Davis, saying, I think I’ll move to “While You Were Out” so I still get money. Good night.