~Bunga Raya’s Internationale Bears Shau~
Cast: Mother as Bunga Raya

Bunga Raya as Mrs. Bunga

UK HERO as himself

Dippy as Wirabear

Announcer: Hola, you’re watching “Bunga Raya’s Internationale Bears Shau”, the shau where internationale bears talk to my amigo Bunga Raya about what’s going on in their lives. And now, heeeeere’s Bunga!

Bunga Raya: Gracias, gracias. Welcome to “Bunga Raya’s Internationale Bears Shau”, where I talk to my amigos about their homeland, what’s new with them, and all that stuff. We’ve got a great show tonight. We have one of the most sought after variations right here with us tonight, the UK HERO bear for the USO. He’s such a kuzua, doing good things for others. Okayyy… let’s talk about me now. First of all, since Mother’s Day is coming tomorrow, I invited my mother here so she can help me do the show. Mrs. Bunga, how are you doing?
Mrs. Bunga: Just fine, dearest.

Bunga Raya: What do you think of the UK HERO bear coming here to talk to us?
Mrs. Bunga: He’s such a kuzua. I think I should donate to the USO but they aren’t located in Kuala Lumpur.

Bunga Raya: Yes, they’re not Malay-si-an. Here now to talk with us about the troops serving the US and UK in Iraq is the UK HERO bear.

UK HERO: Thank you, Bunga. Thank you.

Bunga Raya: You’re welcome. So, tell me, how is my mom so young looking at the age of 54?

UK HERO: She looks good.

Bunga Raya: Good. Now, what the hell with the USO?
UK HERO: I would prefer you didn’t swear in the name of the USO.

Bunga Raya: Loca! There is nothing wrong with “hell”! “I hate the USO” is another story!

UK HERO: Okay, anyway, Bunga, I was shipped out to Kuwait after I was released, then to Eaton Socon to help the Beanies serving in the Chubbley war thing, and then they made me widely available. My public appearances were the reason why the USA HERO came out first.

Bunga Raya: I don’t need your life story. Just talk about the moolah.

UK HERO: Well, I just gained 500 pounds.

Bunga Raya: So he a fattahso?

Mrs. Bunga: I don’t wanna see no fattahso! Get rid of the fattahso!
Bunga Raya: Mami, don’t overreact. Your husband’s watching.

UK HERO: 500 pounds as in British money. I’m not a, as you “Malay-si-ans” call it, a “fattahso”.

Bunga Raya: How dare you talk like me! Only me can talk like me and me is me!
UK HERO: Yes, I AM proud to be an American.

Bunga Raya: Now, let’s move on to our next guest. Last week, Ty released the new Asia Pacific bears, and the new Malay-si-an exclusive is here with us tonight, so please welcome Wirabear!

Wirabear: Hola! Hola, Malay-si-a! Hola, Bunga!
Bunga Raya: Oh my god, this one sounds like me but looks different! It’s like I’m Eminem and you’re Dr. Dre!

Wirabear: You are such a kuzua! I’ve heard very good things about your show! What the banana do you do?
Bunga Raya: You got the whole thing going on! You call nice people kuzuas and you use fruit references to hold back your anger! You want to trade spaces with me like Katie Couric and Jay Leno did? We’d both fit in.

UK HERO: Um, where am I going now?
Bunga Raya: Listen to the conversation, okay? If you don’t like what you see you can slap yourself in the face.

Wirabear: Speaking of things I don’t like, what’s up with the cold weather? Why are we gypped? New York, Daytona Beach, Los Angeles, they all get nice warm summers, and we here at Malay-si-a have to have a cold one? You gypped us, you stinkin’ hemisphere!

Bunga Raya: I have no darn idea. I can’t even focus. My eyes are always watery. I keep sneezing for no reason. WHY, MALAY-SI-A? Why are you so cruel? Why can’t we have record-breaking temperatures when they do in America? It’s not fair!
Wirabear: Well, this is better than China. I almost got SARS where they made me. My doctor said, “Oh, Wirabear, you’re lucky because you’re breathing good.” It’s a god good response!

UK HERO: Ha-ha-ha. Anyway, back to the conversation. I have to hurry back home for “Pop Idol”.

Bunga Raya: So, it was “Pop Idol” in the UK, then it became “American Idol” in the US, they’re planning a “Canadian Idol” – where’s “Malay-si-an Idol”?

Wirabear: I can sing better than that jerk that sang “Like a Virgin” in the auditions. I want to be the first Malay-si-an popstar to break through in America.

UK HERO: Hmm, that’s good, because I was considering doing a charity single and you could audition. I’m currently writing a song called “Gonna Be Dead”. (singing to “Staying Alive”) “Whether you’re Saddam or whether you’re Osama, you’re gonna be dead, you’re gonna be dead.”

Bunga Raya: That’s good! Saddam and Osama are not kuzuas! They treat the world like garbage! What do you think of those two morons?
(everybody smack themselves in the face)

Bunga Raya: Thought so. Well, that’s all the time we have for today. I’d like to thank our guests, my mom…

Mrs. Bunga: I’d like to marry one of the guys from “Dawson’s Creek” if they can’t find a job after their final episode.

Bunga Raya: Hey, I’m the single one here! I want Pacey!
UK HERO: Who do I get, Joey or Jen?
Bunga Raya: No one. Goodbye and Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!
Mrs. Bunga: Adios!