~Fall TV Preview 2003~
Cast: Spunky as himself

Red White & Blue as Mr. Osito

Smitten as Mrs. Osito

Bo as Mel Harper

Sport as Mel Harper II

Mother as Melanie Harper

Smartest as Hope

Seadog as Fetch
Frisco as Happy Brennan

Tubbo as Tubbo Brennan

Baby Boy as Arsenio Bruin

Spunky: Hello, I’m Spunky the cocker spaniel. As you know, “Beanieday Night Live” strives to find the best material so they can top the other Beanie-themed comics, and we have lots of competition coming up, so when you watch the previews for TV shows coming up for the fall season for 2003, don’t find anything funny so you can continue watching us here at BNL. Fox has pitched improvisational sitcom “The Ortegas”, and our rivals have pitched the similar “The Ositos”.

(fade to preview of “The Ositos”)

Mr. Osito: Wifey, where’s my taco?
Mrs. Osito: I just made it for you right here.

Mr. Osito: Holy moly, you’re dripping the sauce on my shirt!
Mrs. Osito: That’s for not taking me out salsa dancing yesterday!
Mr. Osito: Great, now you just did the salsa on me!
Mrs. Osito: Yeah! Zing! Improvised!

(back)

Spunky: I didn’t find any of that funny at all. Next up, CBS has pitched a new comedy between the popular “Yes, Dear” and “Everybody Loves Raymond” starring Charlie Sheen, “Two and a Half Men”. Our rivals have also pitched a similar show called “Two and a Half Mels”.

(fade to preview of “Two and a Half Mels”)

Mel Harper: I’m Mel Harper!
Mel Harper II: Yeah, I know. That’s my name two, you idiot. And you had to go and marry a woman named Melanie.

Melanie Harper: I think it’s a great idea. Besides, you named our kid Mel Jr.

Mel Harper: I thought he’d want to be a movie star one day and I thought Mel was a good name for a movie star.

Melanie Harper: You don’t get it.

(back)

Spunky: Phew, that stunk. The suffering ABC network wants to avoid more bombs like “Veritas”, “Miracles”, and “Are You Hot?” and add many new comedies, among one of them stars Kelly Ripa in “Hope and Faith” about mismatched sisters. Our rivals chose a pretty similar name too, “Hope and Fetch”, about a religious bear and an upbeat dog.

(fade to preview of “Hope and Fetch”)

Hope: When is my sister coming?
Fetch: Hi, Hope! Did you know that not only was I fired, but also I just realized I was pregnant with about 100 children?

Hope: Oh, no. I shouldn’t have let you come live with me.

Fetch: Well, how about a food fight? That’s what I love to do before I’m in labor!
Hope: No.

(back)

Spunky: Now, what kind of idea was that? And finally, the last of the four major networks: NBC. With “Friends” and “Frasier” dawning on their final seasons, comedy is a point the network must try to focus on this season to find another mega-hit. Among them is the John Larroquette/Christine Baranski sitcom “Happy Family”, where we have a similar comedy about hippos called “Happy and Tubbo’s Family”.

Tubbo Brennan: Honey, I’m home!
Happy Brennan: Oh, how was your day?
Tubbo Brennan: Great! As a matter of fact, my day is always great because I always get to eat something! Food, food, and food – that’s all I get from my job and I love it!
Happy Brennan: I should get a job, too!
(back)
Spunky: What? What the hell was that? A sitcom about hippos talking about food – this is why the zoo is better! Anyway, one show you might not see anymore is “Star Search” featuring Arsenio Hall…

Arsenio Bruin: Wow, it’s finally canceled! Now I don’t have to do any more parodies!
Spunky: Baby Boy, you’re breaking character.

Arsenio Bruin: I know, but finally! Can we do “Secretman” again one day?
Spunky: I don’t know. It depends on what the writers say. I’m Spunky. Hope you didn’t enjoy these previews because I know you love “Beanieday Night Live”. Take care.