~Monologue~
Cast: Mystic as herself

Pappa as himself

Decade as himself

Red White & Blue as himself

Mystic: Thank you very much! I am pleased to be hosting “Beanieday Night Live”! This is my first time doing sketch comedy, and it’s been a great week so far. Um… my eyes are bluer than ever, my mane is still fluffy and ty-dyed, as Ty retired me, and my horn is a bright clear color. I hated having a brown horn. Too… well, plain. I look like one of the unicorns from the hallucination I had one day… oh, wait. I was just dizzy. Anyway, there’s a lot to sketch comedy I didn’t know about, like I have to change costumes a lot, I always have to be on task, and unfortunately, there are no bathroom breaks. I’m a fantasy creature, and from all the stories I’ve read, I think unicorns are creatures that don’t have to answer nature’s call. Right now I don’t feel a thing. Well, except my heart’s racing – that’s because this is my first time doing this stuff. I didn’t prepare anything for the monologue, so I’ll see if any of the cast members have anything interesting to say. Let’s take a look around… Oh, wow, you are looking great, Pappa! You’re going to look fine in that job interview sketch tonight!
Pappa: Thanks. I change ties throughout the sketch. No, I’m not doing that. It would have to be digitally animated. I can’t go through all that…

Mystic: Well, looking forward to seeing you in it. Decade, you’re stunning in royal blue.

Decade: Yeah. Itzmeagain didn’t dye me… I did it myself.

Mystic: Hmm. So I guess it was just a bunch of cheap experiments?
Decade: And I took a shower in hair dye.

Mystic: Did it work?
Decade: You’re damn right it worked. I should shower in hair dye often.

Mystic: The public thinks you shouldn’t. You color yourself too much.

Decade: Well, too bad. My friends need to pick me up to dye me

Mystic: Cool. See you later. Oh, and Red White & Blue. Tonight’s your last night – what skits will you be in?
Red White & Blue: I’m cut from every skit tonight. I’ve been toyed with so bad I wanted to leave tonight.

Mystic: Oh, I’m sorry about that. Will you ever come back to host?
Red White & Blue: Never. I know they’ll just throw in some cheesy guest stars to cut attention from me. Ah, I’ll probably retire from showbiz.

Mystic: Okay, hope I’ll see you again soon. Good thing Bloom didn’t join the cast – look how unhappy she’d be.

Red White & Blue: Are you talkin’ to me?
Mystic: Um, no.

Red White & Blue: Then you’re crazy. That’s not what America is about.

Mystic: Okay, thanks for telling me that. I’ll need that advice for the chat. We’ve got a great one for you tonight – a really, great chat, so stick around! We’ll be right back!