~Secretman~

Cast: Bandito as Secretman/Clark Raccoon

Baby Girl as Lois Bear

Flaky as himself

Snowgirl as Bride

Carnation as herself

Baby Boy as Lex Bluebear

Announcer: Faster than a supercomputer… more powerful than a virus… able to spread news and rumors to the Beanie Babies community… it’s Secretman!

Secretman: Whenever Secretman is around, no one is safe, ‘cause I know a lot of things in the Beanie Babies community no one knows. And here’s a secret for you, Lois Bear… I love you.

Lois Bear: Oh, Secretman, how are you so brave and strong?
Secretman: Preventing rabies.

Lois Bear: Oh, Secretman, how do you get all this gossip through so Lex Bluebear won’t stop you and tell Ty so we’re forced to expect the unexpected?

Lex Bluebear: It takes time, Lois.

Announcer: Meanwhile, back at Clark Raccoon’s job as a regular gossiper on the Ty Talk Cyberboard…

Clark Raccoon: Hey, Flaky, did you do your Info Beanie entry today?
Flaky: Yeah. It looks like Bride has a crush on me.

Bride: I really love you, Flaky, and when I retire, we should get married.
Flaky: But what about Groom?
Bride: Oh, Groom’s been a grump lately. He never wants to do anything with me anymore.

Clark Raccoon: Well, I heard that when Groom retires, he’s going to move to Florida with all his buddies and do nothing but play golf all day.

Bride: Really? Where did you hear this?
Clark Raccoon: While I was getting coffee.

Bride: But raccoons don’t drink coffee.

Clark Raccoon: Well, bears don’t either. Anyway, you know what else I heard? Sidekick may be in the lead in the Info Beanie polls, but Carnation could come in from second place and beat him on the last day of voting.

Carnation: Really? So I might be next month’s Info Beanie?
Clark Raccoon: Depends on what the people say.

Flaky: I’m the Info Beanie, and it is my duty to give people info, and I have some info for you: you’re crazy.

Clark Raccoon: Really? Would a crazy person do this? (starts flapping arms around)

Bride: You’re not a bird and you’re not a plane, but you could be Secretman.

Clark Raccoon: What makes you say that?
Bride: I mean, you’re telling all these secrets and you’re so dramatic. And you’re the only raccoon I know who never gets rabies.

Clark Raccoon: Lucky I take my shots.

Carnation: I believe every word they say. You could be him.

Clark Raccoon: Could be. Now I have to go to the bathroom, because I think there’s trouble…

Carnation: Hmm?
Clark Raccoon: Trouble… with the toilet.

Carnation: You might want to fix that… And when you do, don’t leave the seat up!

Announcer: Meanwhile, Lex Bluebear has kidnapped Lois Bear.

Lois Lane: I’m never going to the most embarrassing thing Secretman’s ever done!

Lex Bluebear: Oh, I know already. He leaves the toilet seat up.

Secretman: Not so fast!
Lex Bluebear: Oh, it’s you, Secretman, the guy who always leaves the toilet seat up.

Secretman: You know I heard that you leave the toilet seat up, too.

Lex Bluebear: How did you find that out?
Secretman: I saw you in the bathroom, and you forgot to put the toilet seat down. Now I’m going to post it on the Cyberboard.

Lex Bluebear: You can’t post that on the Cyberboard! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Secretman: Oh, can I?
Lex Bluebear: TY! TY! I WANT MY DADDY1
Announcer: The day is saved again by… Secretman.