~Bear Stein Endorsements~

Cast: Woody as Bear Stein

Sly as George, the director

Smitten as Ronald McDonald

Dippy as Colonel Sanders

Rusty as Jackie Chan

George: Okay, are you ready, Mr. Stein?
Bear Stein: (in Ben Stein voice) George? George? George?

George: We’re going to get you ready to be in some more commercials.

Bear Stein: Am I doing another Office Max commercial? I get sick in those places. And Clear Eyes no longer make my eyes clear.

George: We’re going to put you in commercials for fast food restaurants. Let’s get Ronald McDonald ready.

Ronald McDonald: Jeez, why do I have to work with that boring Bear Stein person?

George: It’s because I said so. Now get out there before I bring in Grimace.

Bear Stein: McDonald? McDonald?
Ronald McDonald: George, this guy is scaring the French fries out of me.

George: Ugh… Ronald, we need to get this advertisement done by Friday.

Ronald McDonald: And that’s another thing, my name isn’t really Ronald. It’s Vanessa.

George: Oh. Anyway, let’s get to film. Lights… camera… and, action!
Bear Stein: I always feel Hungary. That’s why I go to MacDonald’s.

George: Cut! Cut! Your lines are “I always feel hungry, that’s why I go to McDonald’s”. Why did you say Hungary?
Bear Stein: I feel like I’m a Hungarian, so I go to MacDonald’s for Hungarian food.

George: You know what, I’m scrapping this idea. I don’t even care if I get fired. GET OUT, RONALD!
Ronald McDonald: My name is Vanessa!

George: You’re gonna… (mauls Ronald)

Bear Stein: Can we get this done so I can go home to beautiful Alexandra?

George: Okay, let’s try KFC. Colonel Sanders?

Colonel Sanders: It’s a pleasure to be returning to KFC for another ten hundred commercials, I’m… oh, no. Not Bear Stein.

Bear Stein: What’s a commercial?
George: Okay… and, action!
Bear Stein: Why eat garbage like MacDonald’s when you can eat at KFB?
George: Hey, hey, cut! Why did you say KFB?
Bear Stein: KFB – Kill Ferris Bueller. I hated that guy.

George: It’s KFC – Kentucky Fried Chicken! You are doing a TV commercial, not a movie, you nerd!

Colonel Sanders: I quit!

George: Oh, you stink! (mauls Sanders)

Bear Stein: Could we get this work done? I want my paycheck.

George: I really don’t understand these people. Celebrities are respected and have to work with who they need to. I know someone who will, Jackie Chan.

Jackie Chan: Hah! I am Jackie Chan. I be good martial artist. I be starring in a commercial with Bear Stein Bear.

George: Okay, this is going to be for the Panda Express. And… action!
Jackie Chan: Hi-yah! Take that, bad Chinese food!
Bear Stein: Aaah.

Jackie Chan: At Panda Express, you get good Chinese food. 99% off discount right now. Take it from me, Jackie Chan.

Bear Stein: And me, Bear Stein.

Jackie Chan: Bear Stein? I thought you said Berenstain Bears.

George: Ha-ha-ha. Wow. I didn’t know that.

Jackie Chan: Now… you shall pay! Hi… (George mauls him)