~The Mary Beth Show~
Dippy as Mary Beth Sobolewski

Woody as Charles Rogers

Erin as Becky Phillips

Decade as Kevin

Announcer: When a former CEO of a Beanie Baby magazine decides to host her own talk show, it’s a pretty big risk. But she’s doing good for herself. It’s “The Mary Beth Show” with your host Mary Beth Sobolewski.

Mary Beth: Good evening, collectors. I’m Mary Beth, and welcome to my show, where I talk to CEOs about what they’re doing now. I just had the strangest dream last night, where a Beanie ate me. Oh, you can’t boo me, people. I’m Mary Beth Sobolewski. Anyway, we have a lot of good stuff on our show tonight. Fresh off leaving the Chubbley Corporation, please welcome, my old arch-nemesis, Charles Rogers.

Charles Rogers: Thanks for having me, Mary Beth. It’s hard after quitting a job, like you and Karen Gomes did this week…

Mary Beth: Yeah, great. So, Mr. Rogers…

Charles Rogers: Just call me Charles.

Mary Beth: I like calling you Mr. Rogers because it’s like that guy on television I watched as a kid. A shame he died.

Charles Rogers: Yeah. But I don’t have a train that takes you to a land of make-believe.

Mary Beth: What a shame – Mr. Rogers died, and this Mr. Rogers quit Chubbley! If your last name is Rogers, fear the wrath of… lifedom!

Charles Rogers: Mary, quit it already. You have to be realistic. Interview me now.

Mary Beth: Okay then. So, why did you quit Chubbley? Were you fired?
Charles Rogers: No. I quit because I want to pursue new projects.

Mary Beth: Like “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood”?

Charles Rogers: Will you stick to the topic? I quit Chubbley because Beanie Babies are the best!
Mary Beth: Damn! I haven’t seen anyone that tough since Mel beat up Dotty! Anyway, do you think Chubbley people will call you a traitor?
Charles Rogers: The way I see it, no.

Mary Beth: Well, good luck, Mr. Rogers.

Charles Rogers: Stop calling me that already!

Mary Beth: No, just leave. Now, our next guest used to be a Beanie Baby authenticator, but now she has resigned from the Beanie Babies community. Please welcome, the wonderful Becky Phillips.

Becky Phillips: Hello, Mary Beth! I haven’t seen you in years!

Mary Beth: I didn’t know it was… that long. So, tell me, what did you use to do in the Beanie community before the phenomenon became a phenomenot?

Becky Phillips: Ha-ha, good one. That woman’s got the worst sense of humor. Uh, I used to be a Beanie Baby authenticator, on a website called PBBAGS, Phillips Beanie Baby Authentication and Grading Service.

Mary Beth: And what do you do now?
Becky Phillips: I sell Beanies at Hallmark. Hmm, I’m making minimum wage per hour and I used to make $20.00 per Beanie. And I didn’t get one Beanie an hour!

Mary Beth: I also hear you’re willing to do authentication of any kind to make money.

Becky Phillips: Oh, absolutely. I will authenticate food to see if there’s any fat in it, um, I will authenticate artwork, scan for computer viruses, nude pictures, Hot Wheels cars…

Mary Beth: Wait a minute; did you say nude pictures?
Becky Phillips: Yeah.

Mary Beth: A friend of mine in the studio needs your help deciding if one of his pictures is a fake or not.

Becky Phillips: Oh, you mean like when they put the heads of…

Mary Beth: Shut up. Please welcome, a friend of mine from the studio, he runs the Abeaniestory Yahoo Group, please welcome Kevin!

Kevin: Hey, Mary Beth. Hey, Becky. Just around here… why are you telling everyone I work here and have my own group?
Mary Beth: Didn’t you say you needed your picture of Travis Fimmel authenticated?
Kevin: Um… yeah. It’s for my… girlfriend.

Mary Beth: Well, I think Becky and I should halt our interview because Travis Fimmel is one hot guy!

Becky Phillips: Why didn’t I work at that place where I could get the free fitness magazines?
Mary Beth: Because you liked this!

Kevin: Becky, is my Travis Fimmel picture a fake? Is it really the face of a fat dude on the body of a muscular dude?

Becky Phillips: No, it’s real. You clipped this out of a Calvin Klein catalog.

Kevin: I thought so. I thought those catalogs were fake.

Becky Phillips: Kevin, it was great having you on the show. Too bad we didn’t have the real Travis Fimmel on tonight.

Mary Beth: I’ll try to book him sometime next week. Well, that’s all the time we have on tonight’s show. Join us at www dot Mary Beth Beanie Show dot com for live extra footage of Becky, Kevin, and I looking at Travis Fimmel pictures. Damn, I was better off working at the place where they publish the Abercrombie and Fitch catalog with the naked men. Good thing I quit the Beanie business.