~Weekend Update with Seadog~
Cast: Seadog as himself

Smitten as Naomi Hugg

Hodgepodge as Mr. Popular

Baby Boy as Mr. Beanwell

Mother as Mrs. Seadog

Color Me Bunny as Hippity

Baby Girl as Hoppity

Eggs III as Floppity

Dippy as Hippie

Seadog: Good evening, I’m Seadog and here are tonight’s top stories:

Controversy had run on at The Beanie Zoo as a conversation about Zoo-ees not donating prizes to our chats has irritated some members and things to go ugly in the club. Luckily it was all solved when it was discovered that Rene could donate a Beanie she just found on the floor.

Ty introduced Duck-E the Ty Store exclusive on Monday. Hoping for similar product successes, he is now introducing the following Beanies: Buck-E the beaver, Pink-E the flamingo, Dot-E the Dalmatian, and my favorite, Mapl-EE the Canadian Bear.

Ty also introduced the white version of Decade on his website recently. If you like it, check out the new Celebrate bear without ty-dye.

The release caused a question to be asked by a Planet Beans reader, who said that Ty may be releasing each Decade by birthstone colors. So that means if you want a purple Decade, you have to wait until next February.

Naomi Judd was given a “Jeer” in this week’s TV Guide in the Cheers and Jeers column. That’s got to be bad for Naomi Hugg from our “Star Search” parodies…

Naomi Hugg: People treat that woman like garbage! Just like she treated those dance punks!
Seadog: Thanks for telling us. How long are you going to stay?
Naomi Hugg: Not long. I have to go shoot another movie with some hicks.

Seadog: Okay, thanks for coming. Naomi Hugg, everybody!

Yours Truly has been commented on during the week as people have found it at their Hallmarks just before its official release in the gift shop chain. As the early bird has caught the worm, Hallmark has decided there are too many and Yours Truly will be retired on April 31, 2010.

Ty officially introduced the Yours Truly Beanie Baby on Friday, and to celebrate, the bear received a dozen 99-cent cards and gave everybody kisses.

On the Ty Talk Cyberboard, Ty Warner responded to a retailer’s post saying that a new Beanie will be released with a birthday of June 26. So congratulations to Derek Jeter, Sean Hayes, and Chris Issak… you now have a new Beanie Baby to share your birthday with: “Baseball Player Homo Scratchy-Voice”.

The Designs For the Times auction was held on Tuesday in London. Among the items up for auction were Beanie Kids and Beanie Boppers resembling famous celebrities. Here now to debate on the items are entertainment correspondent Mr. Popular and Beanie critic Mr. Beanwell.

Mr. Popular: Thank you, Mr. Seadog.

Seadog: Pleasure.

Mr. Beanwell: We’re here tonight to show you pictures of the Beanie Kids and Boppers dressed as celebrities and tell you what we think. First up, we have Elvis Presley. I did not like this portrayal of the King. He looks like Meat Loaf with a smaller rump!
Mr. Popular: Thank you very much, but your opinion is invalid. This is the King of Beanie Kids here imitating the King of Rock ‘n Roll. He certainly lives up to that title.

Mr. Beanwell: Next, from the Spice Girls, Geri “Ginger Spice” Haliwell and Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham. Ginger isn’t too spicy and Posh can’t bend it like Beckham.

Mr. Popular: I think Geri looks good, but Victoria looks like Kelly Osbourne without the drugs.

Mr. Beanwell: Has-beens. Next up, another duo you might recognize: Madonna and Ali G. They teamed up for the “Music” video in 2000 in which they visited a strip club. Like a virgin, hey! Stop dressing Beanies like pimps and hoes!
Mr. Popular: Good point, but I think the Ali G Beanie isn’t as bad as Madonna. I mean, Madonna doesn’t dress like trash anymore.

Mr. Beanwell: Trash is how I would describe her new song “American Life”. She’s white and she sings like she’s black. Next, Kylie Minogue. (singing to “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”) “Blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah…”

Mr. Popular: Kylie looks too plain. And her lying down is just as plain as my reviews. I’ll start the next one – The Beatles. The Fab 4 as still fab, but now there’s only 2 left, so next time, try to be more accurate.

Mr. Beanwell: Strawberry fields – not forever! They look like clones! That’s all I could think of! Next up, Oscar winning actress Halle Berry. This is an adorable little one… and so is the one dressed as the Princess of Wales.

Mr. Popular: I’m glad you actually like something.

Mr. Beanwell: But here’s something I really don’t like – Britney Spears! The kid who dressed up like her looks like she’s at school disobeying the dress code!

Mr. Popular: (singing) “Oops, I did it again, I’m giving her a bad review!” Michael Jackson. Like the Beatles, please be accurate. Next time make him white.

Mr. Beanwell: I like this one, really. The good thing about him is that his nose is normal. Finally, from the Rolling Stones, Mick Jagger. From one of the greatest rock ‘n roll bands out there, what’s so great about this one? His lips are too big for him!

Mr. Popular: We had a Gene Simmons with his tongue sticking out, but since this is a chat where kids can get in, we couldn’t bring a picture.

Seadog: You should have done an Adrien Brody with a big nose. Well, thanks for showing us these Beanies. Let’s hope they help a great cause.

Mr. Beanwell: Anytime.

Seadog: Mr. Popular and Mr. Beanwell, everybody!

Taking action to continued pressure from forum members at Bears and Beans, the site created a new trading board. In other news, Ty Trade is back in business.

On September 14, the New York Yankees will give away to 18,000 fans 14 and under an exclusive Beanie Buddy to celebrate their 100^th anniversary in their game against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. The name of the Buddy: Jumbo Bronx Bomber. Wait, wasn’t that a Beanie Bopper?

Ty sued a company in Maui, Hawaii for infringing on the Beanie Babies. However, because of the small business and long distance, no jurisdiction would be made in Chicago. To make matters settled, the company is designing a new Hawaii exclusive for Ty Inc.: “Lilo the hula bear”. Hmm, looks like Disney will sue on that one. But then again, doesn’t that Michael Eisner sue for everything? Oh, Ty does too.

Holy Bears has released a new bear called the “Too Blessed to Be Stressed Bear”, in light of times of war. I have to agree, but my schedule isn’t tight. I love my job…

Mrs. Seadog: No, it’s not. I want you to make me dinner, strap me to my wheelchair, and pay all of my bills as soon as you get home from work!
Seadog: Thanks a lot, Mom. You ruined the mood.

Mrs. Seadog: But I need some young person, like you, to do all my things for me! I hate doing things!
Seadog: Then you should stay in the house more often.

Mrs. Seadog: Oh, I’m gonna get you young whippersnapper…

Seadog: My mom, everybody!

Anyway… With Easter coming next month, this raises questions about what’s to come in the Beanie world. Here now to talk about it are the original bunny quartet: Hippity the mint bunny, Hoppity the pink bunny, Floppity the lilac bunny, and Hippie the ty-dyed bunny!

Hippity: Thank you, Seadog. First off, I’d like to say hello to Ears, who couldn’t make it tonight because he’s not a stand-up style bunny like us.

Hoppity: To begin, I would like to ask why, why is there no Hoppity Basket Beanie? Why couldn’t they at least take ten minutes to make me smaller? I’m a Beanie and a Buddy – that’s it!
Hippie: The Basket Beanies will be retired forever after this year, that’s my forecast. No one talks about them anymore. But my Jingle Beanie has always been da bomb.

Floppity: Yeah, so do I. I think after this Easter, I will be worth a penny. Everybody has me already. In all the forms – Basket Beanie, Beanie, Buddy… when they make me in Jumbo I’ll be worth $15!

Hippity: The Color Me Bunny will not be worth anything because there are too many out. If they look like me but have different features, could be worth a lot.

Hoppity: Nibblies will not be a big seller. He looks like Roger Rabbit.

Hippity: Or his girlfriend… you know, the dirty little…

Hippie: Oh, yeah. Jessica. Dippy is my clone. She’s not gonna be big either, but if she had no nose, maybe it would.

Floppity: And like I said before, I’ll be cheap.

Seadog: The original bunny quartet, everybody! That’s the news; good night and have a pleasant tomorrow!