Fineselled: Explained

Exclusive article, 8/10/03

What do you get when you mix Beanie Babies with a show about nothing? The popular sketch “Fineselled”, which has become the most frequently performed sketch in the short history of Beanieday Night Live, performed at The Beanie Zoo Saturdays at 8:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time. For those Beanie collectors who don’t watch TV, “Seinfeld”, which is the obvious knockoff, ran from 1990-1998 on NBC, following the life of Jerry Seinfeld and his friends Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), George Costanza (Jason Alexander), and Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards).

How did the idea come afoot? It was all Mr. Beanwell’s idea, to develop a well-thought and planned out sketch based on one of the greatest sitcoms of all time. Sport the dog plays the comedian/Beanie collector Jerry Fineselled, who gets through life and relationships with a bunch of “Did you ever notice…” and “What’s the deal with…” jokes. He shares his apartment with Elaine Beanies, (played by Frisco the cat), George Chipstanza (Pappa the bear) and, well, let’s not forget Kramer, who is played by Decade the bear.

Often on “Seinfeld” you’ll see Jerry or George’s parents on, and the same thing with “Fineselled”. You never know when the parents show up. Every lead character must have a nemesis, and as Jerry Seinfeld has Newman, played by Wayne Knight, Fineselled has Newbean, played by Baby Boy the bear, who mimics Knight’s role as a thoughtless mailman wishing harm to Seinfeld (or Fineselled).

BNL hopes there will be no “Fineselled Curse”, in which the main cast has trouble with their career after the sketch stops being performed. When “Seinfeld” went off the air in 1998, the media has referred to the “Seinfeld Curse” when talking about flops from Michael Richards (“The Michael Richards Show”), Jason Alexander (“Bob Patterson”, KFC commercials), and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Watching Ellie).

The “Fineselled” sketch won’t last forever, like “Seinfeld” was not able to, but will always be remembered for bringing sitcom-style humor into “Beanieday Night Live”.

Included is a list of “Seinfeld” references in “Fineselled” skits:

· At the beginning of each sketch, Fineselled performs stand-up about experiences in the episode, like Seinfeld does at the beginning of “Seinfeld”.

· Elaine Beanies eats a Junior Mint in the sketch in the UK/US HERO chat, which was the focus surrounding a “Seinfeld” episode where Kramer dropped a Junior Mint into a patient’s spleen by accident while watching a surgery.

· Elaine Beanies’ boss is Beanerman, a reference to Elaine Benes’ boss on “Seinfeld”, Peterman.

· In the UK/US HERO chat, George Chipstanza asks Sergeant Hamill if he would like to go to KFC, parodying Jason Alexander’s KFC commercials.

· Entire sketch in Neon chat on 6/7/03 parodies “Seinfeld” episode “The Soup Nazi”.

· Entire sketch in Libearty chat on 6/28/03 parodies “Seinfeld” episode “The Calzone”.

· Entire sketch in Nuts chat on 7/19/03 parodies “Seinfeld” episode “The Contest”.