So recently, we (Me, Toby, Clayton) were over at Toby's place, and Clayton had picked up AVP and The Village. I was kind of looking forward to AVP, but not so much The Village, I wanted to see it but not as much as AVP. So here's what I thought on the two.

AVP: Alien vs. Predator:

If you've seen any Alien movie, or any Predator movie, you know how they are. Alien movies, the humans walk around stupidly in placees they shouldn't be then, what happens, OH SHIT! THERE'S GIANT HANDS WITH TAILS FUCKING MY FACE!!! Then the whole process begins. In Predator, the predator(s) pop in, usually invisible, and scopes out the area, then starts fucking up the shit. Now throw a lil bit of hollywood cheeze with a side of predictability, and there's the movie. All in all, it was pretty decent, as far as stupid sci-fi/action films go.

The Village:

Now if ever there was an overhyped movie, this was it! The commercials were calling it this big thriller movie and all that jazz. The only thing thrilling about it was the retard (Adrien Brody) being stupid and falling in a hole and killing himself! Ok here's how it goes. Movie is set to take place in a small town in what appears to be the 1700's in the U.S.. The town and a few fields are surrounded by forest on all sides. Within the forest is some creature that respects the border as long as the people don't go looking around in the forest, or have anything the color red in the village. There is a blind girl named Ivy who is the worst played blind person i've ever seen. In the real world, if you were talking to a blind person, the person's eyes would not be able to focus in on you because the eyes don't know what to focus in on...because they don't work of course. The actor, not only looks right at the other actors, she focuses in on them. How can you tell you say. Well, if you've ever talked to a blind person, if they are "looking" at you to pay attention to what you have to say, they don't move there eyes in your direction like everyone else, they usually turn their head and look in your general direction in a blank stare. now do this for 2 hrs, and you go nuts...unless you decide to put Kayfabe asside and take the movie for what it is. ANYWHO, story goes on, blind girl's new husband (who, throughout the course of the movie requests to into the forest to go to the other villages to seek medicine in case of need) is stabbed by the retard and then she requests to go into the forest to seek medicine. The only reason she can go and nobody else can is because she can't see, so she can't look into the forest. Now, she gets into the forest a fair ways and she gets lost and cofused...and what does she do, she starts RUNNING! I don't know about you, but i've NEVER seen blind person run, ever. Not because they can't, but because if they do, they will probably trip and fall flat on their face and hurt themselves. Now, do that in a forest on uneven ground, fallen trees everywhere and branches from trees low enough for you to clothesline your self on. Put that aside, and she continues...runs into a monster (which is actually the retard in a monster costume), finds the edge of the forest, which is an Ivy covered wall. Climbs over, what does she find, a Highway and a highway patrol guy. Actually, its a road thru a nature preserve and he watches to make sure no one vandilizes the place. She talks to the guy, gets the medicine, and miraculously finds her way back to the village in the span of 5 min. only to find out her husband is dead (like 2 min b4 she gets there). Roll Credits.

As I proceed to say, I want the last 2 hrs of my life back.

Now some of you may be thinking, but Smitty, you always fall asleep during movies, how did you not fall asleep during not 1 but 2 movies! Well i'll tell ya, Kssst!!! COOKE! If not for our very sugary friend here, im sure i would have.

So to conclude, Smitty rating.

AVP: 7 out of 10.
The Village: 3 out of 10.

The backround is from a screwed up series called Wandaba Style where this super rich kid wants to be the first one to the moon and wants to do it using his "Wandaba Style" (to us that would be a capule that looks like it was stolen from Dragon Ball Z!) do it by sending a bad group called Mix Juice as his astronauts.

I got this Backround From http://ningen.nattoli.net/
A Night at the Movies