So I recently saw the second of the Resident Evil movies (Train and I saw it right after S.A.B. and Fiddz did). Lets see, it had lots of drooling dead guys, disease infested super-humans, the token black guy (with his bling-bling in the form of gold plated guns), russians, nukes, Jill Valentine (drool...), and enough continuity errors to make your head spin...what else could a guy ask for right? Well, to bust phaze's bubble, I wasn't the hugest fan of the movie. It was good....but not exceptionally great.
On top of all the things I've mentioned, there was your lot of hollywood cheese too. For instance, *ahem* Im Milla Jovovich, i can drive launch a Motorcycle thru a second story window. And well, sinse they didn't show how she did it, I just have to assume she pulled a triple X where Vin Diesel jumps a 10 foot fence thru barb wire with no jump or ramp of anykind.
Lets see what else was there...Oh yeah, how about the part where they were fighting in the graveyard. Not only did a bunch of zombies just pop up from under the ground almost in perfect unison, many of them didn't have eyes anymore, so how exactly do you see Milla Jovovich moving faster than the eye can see (basically in bullet time....but they didn't slow anything down, so she's rediculously fast). Yes, I do know she's medically enhanced, but the point is, from a viewers perspective, when all you see on the screen is a blur of her movements and hair flying all over the place, it doesn't make for a good movie. It was almost like being so drunk, you couldn't see straight....luckily it only lasted 2 minutes and I didn't puke afterwards.
Finally, and the biggest point of them all, the fight between Alice and Nemisis. Lets see, So there are a bunch of dudes with machine guns, zombies closing in all around (but your not supposed to think about that yet), and some Umbrella dude giving orders to Nemisis because he's controlled by them...at least until the fight starts. So of all things to say to start a one on one no weapons fight, the umbrella guy says FIGHT! As soon as I heard this, I immediately began thinking of Mortal Kombat...but I brushed the cheeze off my shoulder *glares at combs* and went back to the movie. THey fight it out, blah blah blah. Nemisis with his big strength rips a steel girder from its place from the building they are next too, and in doing so makes a conviently place spike right behind nemisis' back. They fight it out a lil more, and eventually Alice shoves Nemisis onto the spike. The Match stops. And of all things to say, mr. umbrell man says FINISH HIM! And im just like WHAT!?!? Why don't they just slap a funky japanese hat on alice and make her shoot lightning from her hands, and we can call her Raiden. And while we're at it, we'll rename nemisis goro, and we'll grow another pair of arms on him. Then we can take jill valentine, give her a blue tank top
and a blue scarf and replace her gun with metal fans and call her Kitana! Now remember how Nemisis was being controlled by Umbrella, sinse Alice figures out that Nemisis is Matt from the first movie, He grow a heart I guess and just ignores all orders given to him and he takes a few hundred bullets from the Umbrella grunts and finally is done in by a helicopter crashing on his head!
Now, to repeat myself, I did enjoy the movie, but Damn, holy hollywood cheeze batman. Well, thats all i got to say, enjoy my pictures... Peace Homiez!
Smitty |
