Crying to myself,
When a woman appeared in front of me.
She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
In an angelic voice she asked me,
“Why are you crying?”
I answered, “I don’t know if I can go on fighting. I just want to give up.”
She said, “Don’t do that, I can make things better. I can see the scars on your soul, even though no one else can.
I can see you have a heart of gold, even though no one else can.
I can tell you’re a genuine person, with a vast amount of love inside you,
ready to give away to the next soul that befriends you.”
These words made me stop crying and she dried up my tears with her delicate hand. I asked her, “Tell me more.” My ears were tingling.
“Well,” she answered, “I have watched you grow up into the man you are.”
You haven’t given up since and you’ve come so far.
Stand up and let me see the handsome man you are.
A man? I thought to myself. I always considered myself a child, but yet, here was the most beautiful woman on earth telling me I was a man.
My heart swelled as I stood up tall and proud, waiting to hear more sweet words proceed from her mouth.
“I know about the ones that try to hurt you.
They mock you, they laugh at you,
They persecute you. Just give me the word and I'll wipe them off the face of the Earth."
I thought for a second, about the injustices I faced by their hands, and thought how much nicer it would be if they were no longer around.
I nodded my head.
She closed her eyes and opened them.
“There, they’ll never bother you again.
Their souls will forever be condemned.”
A sense of power filled me. I wanted to do more, and asked her how much she could give me.
“I can give you the world and everything in it.” She answered.
“But you don’t want that do you?”
“No.” I said, wondering what I really did want.
Then it dawned on me that I didn’t even know who she was.
“Are you an angel?” I asked.
“Yes.” She replied.
I asked her why she was doing these good things for me.
“I’m rewarding you for all of the good things you’ve done in your life.”
She said, “Did you want anything else?”
I looked at her. Her beauty was radiant, and everything else in the room seemed drab, dull.
“I want you.” I said.
She leaned over and gave me a passionate kiss.
My blood raced through my body and filled my heart with lust.
“You can have more later, but now you must tell me what else you want. Our time is somewhat short. But after tonight, you will have all the time in the world.”
My stomach suddenly growled and I realized that I was very hungry.
But before I even told her anything, she presented a marvelous feast on a table in front of me.
“Eat all you like.” She urged.
I immediately gorged myself with all the food my stomach could contain.
Then I grew very tired.
“Rest.” She said.
I lied down on my bed and relaxed.
A pleasant aroma filled the room; it was intoxicating.
As I rested, she sang a beautiful song for me with her heavenly voice.
As I started to drift off into sleep, she quickly whispered something into my ear.
She said, “I’ll see you soon.”
Then I fell into a deep sleep.
When I awoke, she was gone, and I felt guilty and miserable.
Then suddenly, it all came to me; who she really was, what I had done, and what was going to happen to me.
I wanted my old life back, before I had given in the fleshly desires.
I was envious of my old self, and knew that the fight was now over.
I had failed the test.
I had gotten a taste of what I could have, and I wanted more.
My mind was struggling with itself as I walked over to the closet and pulled out the shotgun.
I pointed it at my head and pulled the trigger.
In one night,
I lost the fight,
And for that I never saw the light.