We sing about Matilda, just as if it was a hymn.
The thing about Matilda is, the bloke was just a crim'.
He wasn't at all saintly, nor inspiring or heroic.
He wasn't an example; neither brave, or kind, or stoic.
'Andy sat. Andy watched.' (Well at least we know his name.)
'Andy waited while his billy boiled.' (Does this deserve such fame?
At least the man from Snowy showed some courage and real pluck.)
But as for jolly Andy's fame? Well, really, what ... 's the fuss?
A swagman gone out camping; so we know he's not a worker.
He's probably bludging on the dole; that no good, lazy shirker!
We know that he was singing and we know that he was jolly.
(Remember this for later. It's a telling clue, by golly.)
Andy wasn't hunting, so he wasn't hungry, really.
But when the jumbuck came on down, the story tells us clearly,
that when he grabbed the beast, the man in question filled with glee.
So I suspect this loner practised beastiality.
"Glee", it says, not hunger. Or rumbling stomach pain.
We know he wasn't tracking food. His plans were more profane.
I'm sorry if I dwell on it, but think it through some more;
He didn't stop to kill the thing, to cook or eat it raw.
He shoved it live into his sack, a 'tuckerbag' so-called.
But having figured out his plan, we all should be appalled.
He was singing as he shoved that jumbuck in his tuckerbag.
(Methinks he was a madman, and quite possibly a fag.)
His reputation shoddy, but it just gets worse, indeed.
His criminal behaviour continues as we read.
The squatter had a thoroughbred, and not some hack old horse.
The fact that he was wealthy meant he owned the land of course.
So, trespassing, yet another crime, of which Andy's accused.
But if you think that this is all, perhaps you're still confused.
To move the vagrant on, there wasn't just one Trooper there;
A posse had been formed, and sent. For they were well aware
that this man was clearly dangerous. He had probably busted free
from a gaol or a mental home. (For beastiality?)
Why else would Andy not 'fess up to just one lousy sheep?
The poem implies a trouble man; his troubles clearly deep.
What kind of man is jolly, then from song to take his life?
A mood swing so extreme suggests some deep-set mental strife.
No hint of anger, rage or fight. No word he showed aggression.
A switch just flicked from joy to sad; perhaps manic depression?
Pure anxious fear, so quickly glum; Bi-polar deathly woe.
So in review let's list those things 'bout Andy that we know; ...
An anti-social, unemployed, trespasser, on the run,
sheep shagging thief, who killed himself, when all is said and done.
So here we have the story of a rotten sort of bloke.
Hardly one to raise a song in decent sort of folk.
Yet strangely, some folk sing this tale with passion and with pride.
But now you stop to think; We've just been taken for a ride!
It's a song for thieves, a song for the bums, a song for destitution.
A song for the depraved at heart; the criminal institution.
A song for the infirm of mind, a song for lives of failure.
So why on earth should it remain a song for all Australia?
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