There once was a student, most rude.
His comments were cutting, and crude.
He snorted and steamed;
the reason, it seemed,
was he didn't eat well balanced food.
(Bathurst is a town in the Central West of , New South Wales, Australia.)
He went off to Bathurst for Uni, (An Australian word use as an abbbreviation for 'University')
and soon was a slave to the 'Goonie'. (A large, glass container of very cheap and nasty wine.)
His mind became jaded
his money soon faded,
his muscles turned feeble and puny.
He thought it was trendy to smoke.
His lungs they would splutter and choke.
The cost was quite massive,
all his mates did smoke passive (ly),
but them it was not such a joke.
This once active lad became slack.
spent more time time on his back than at track ... (and field),
His gut soon did swell.
He never felt well.
A prime target for heart attack.
He went for a stop at "The Pitt", ("The Pitt Stop" was the name of the on campus take-away food outlet.)
said, "The dining-room food tastes like lousy.
I'll have chips and a pie,
and a coke." Then said "Bye".
His stomach was ready to quit.
He went to 'The Rafters' that night, ('The Rafters' was the name of the University Bar).
and did scull all his beers with great might.
As "the midnight rush" started, (The pairing up of couples just prior to closing time.)
with some girl he departed,
once back home they received a rude fright...
In the bedroom they both were undressed,
and their bodies they gently caressed,
but his dick remained flaccid,
so instead he took acid.
He got high, but she wasn't impressed.
He found that this happened quite oft',
and some women openly scofted,
but true to his fear,
the more he drank beer,
the more that his dick remained soft.
In the short term his memory was shot;
but beyond help this young man was not.
He did change his way,
exercising each day,
and his new diet helped things alot.
So as you accumulate 'H.E.C.S.' (The acronym for"Higher Education Contribution Scheme" - a government Tax on Tertiary education)
try to leave out the drugs (even 'Bex'), (A brand name for a non-precription headache drug).
eat your carrots and peas,
and watch out for disease,
and enjoy having copious exercise. Good luck!
(C) MrsMyth (TJ McGowan)
