| Yesterday, I cried. I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed, kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra, and I had myself a good cry. I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale. I cried until my ears were hot. I cried until my head was hurting so bad that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet. I want you to understand, I had myself a really good cry yesterday. Yesterday, I cried, for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry. I cried for all the days and all the ways, and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected my self from myself, only to have it reflected back to me in the way others did to me the same things I had already done to myself. I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen; for all the things that I had asked for that had yet to show up; for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away, to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty and battered and plain old used. I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry. Yesterday, I cried. I cried because little girls leave their daddies; and mommies and daddies are forgotten in their grief. Daddies and mommies don't know what to do ... sad, scared, lost and alone. I cried because I had a little girl, and because I was a mommy who was left behind and didn't know what to do, and because I wanted my little girl to be there with me so badly 'til I ached. Yesterday, I cried. I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt. I cried because hurt has no place to go except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place, and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up. I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time. I cried bacause my sould knew that I didn't know that my sould knew everything I needed to know. I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good. It felt so very, very bad. In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming, Because... Yesterday, I cried with an agenda. ~adapted from "Yesterday I Cried" by Iyanla Vanzant ~ |
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| Yesterday I Cried |