it
since fourth grade
sad lonely times, sitting in my room
opening the box, pulling out the knife
and gently - softly, dragging it against my wrists
just to feel
the cold steel
and bring me closer to my fantasy
the thought
has re-entered my mind
and once again, i revisit the fantasy
the allure of being no more
the note is already written,
i know exactly what to say
"i know i'm not enough, and believe me
i always tried
but i need to live again...
i haven't for so long."
i place the note on my pillow
and lay myself next to it
then take a few pills
and gently slip away
~~¤~~
i never could make myself do it
really, it's not that bad
but i grow weary of this pain
of stumbling along this path
i just wish that if i go
if i silently slip away
that the world goes with me
and we can all start anew
but that is not an option
the world would not fade to black
and my problems wouldn't go away
only become mom's, not mine
and delicate dad would finally break
so on i go
trudging, stumbling, marching along this path
and with every blink of my eye
the world fades to black
