From Janitor to Astronaut: A Survival Guide
A Survival Guide
By: Karen Walker (Serris)
Beta/Edited: Stephanie Watson (SLWatson)
2000



Waking up, Joel was sure that his head was bleeding.  It felt as if someone had taken a steel bar and smacked him over the back of his skull with every bit of strength they had, but when the inventor's hand trailed back to feel the bump, he didn't find any blood with it.  Looking around, he was sure that the disorientation was due to the fact that he had taken a good whack to the head, but in the back of him mind, he knew there was more to the situation than that.

A weight sat on his chest, somewhat heavily, causing his breathing to come in shorter, sharper strokes.  Slowly, however, he came to realize that the only reason he wasn't beathing right was because his own bulky invention had landed firmly on his torso. Shaking off the fatigue, he sat up and pushed the accordian cleaner off of his chest. 

Using the console to pull himself to his feet, he leaned against it to steady himself before holding his breath for a second, listening for anyone that might be shuffling around the satellite.  All that could he could distinctly hear was the quiet sound of the engines running, and a soft humming from the corner of the room.

Squinting to clear his vision, he made his way towards the sound.  In the corner sat a little mass of metal and a red light that blinked unevenly.  The front of the machine had a little lens on it, and the bottom had some kind of exhaust type system that Joel figured was used for hovering.  For some reason the little robot was recording some of the time, and practically out cold the rest of the time.  Shaking his head, Joel picked up the fragile little robot and lifted it carefully onto the console.

Assessing the damage, he figured that the jolt that had knocked him cold had done the same to the little camerabot, and taking off a few panels, he did his best to repair the little metal creature.  Finding that there was a dent in the outer casing, he pushed at it with his hands until it was popped back out, though not perfect.  Then, searching through the insides of the little creature, he tried to do what he could to figure out what damage had been done.  It didn't take him long to find the injured circuit, and with a little rewiring, the whirr of the motors inside the 'bot sprang to life, hovering off the console and looking at the inventor with it's one "eye".

Joel waved sheepishly at floating camera, then leaned his hands on the console. "Hi, I'm Joel Robinson," he introduced and smiled, noting that the red light had some on as soon as he had started to talk.  The camera only replied with some clicks and panned a little closer to the human.  "Well, do you have a name?"

The builder was rewarded with a slight tilt of the camera, almost as a curious dog looks when it hears something new for the first time.

"Let's see what we can come up with, huh?"  Using the console as a place to prop himself up on, he looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. He wasn't exactly a wizard when it came to naming things, but it was worth a try. "You're a camera, and a robot, but Camerarobot and Camerabot seem too long... so, how about Cambot?"

The recording creature bobbed up and down some, noting that it liked the name, then panned around to catch a glimpse at the inside of the control room.  The walls were covered with some odd shaped objects, and there was a smaller door to the right of the large doors in the back.  On top of the console, a box with a red, blue, and yellow light sat simply, the only object on the whole counter.

"Well, what's up with this place?" Joel asked, quietly, looking at Cambot.  Almost imagining a shrug, he shook his head.  "Seems kind of boring to name it Sirius," the man commented, thoughtfully, looking around.  "Doesn't look sophisticated enough to be a special satellite.  Should have just named it the Satellite of Love, or something." He smirked, figuring the simplicity of the ship formed a parallel with the unornimented points of love... not to mention, there was more than just a touch of sarcasm in it. "Well, I'm going to go look around and see if there's anything here that can get me back from..."  He paused, looking out a small window behind the 'bot "...space," he finished, entranced by the stars for a moment.

Stepping over to the window, he didn't even notice Cambot following him with the lens.  He just watched the clarity of the stars, never really getting the chance to see such a sight when he was in the city.  After a moment of staring, he was finally able to free himself from the grip of the pinpoints of light, and he started off down the hall to find something interesting, while the camerabot followed.

There was certainly a lot of odds and ends of the Satellite Sirius that Joel hadn't expected to be there.  Most of it was rooms full of junky garage sale type items and boxes of Hamdingers.  (Man, he hated Hamdingers.)  Of course, the rest of the things on the ship could be of some use to the inventor if he sat down with them for a while, but for the moment, he only thought of home.

Finding a room that was fairly cleaned out, Joel started to move the boxes to one side of the room, taking a few sheets and making himself a bed to sleep in, braced between two water pipes.  Laying down for a moment, he closed his eyes, but for some reason it seemed to be colder in the room than it had before.  Unable to stand the chilling air any longer than he had to, he started back up to the control room, hoping to find a temperature control.

Upon returning, Robinson noticed the room seemed to be a bit dimmer than when he had woken up.  Shaking his head, he thought about how it seemed like it was going from day to night, then looked to Cambot, who had been following Joel since he was reactivated.  "What's going on here?" Joel asked, eyes trying to adjust to the dimming lights.

The camera just made a few curious noises before the red light started flashing on the console.  Cambot zoomed in on it for a moment, then looked up to it's human counterpart, who was watching it blink on and off.  Hesitating slightly, Joel nimbly pushed the button, thinking of all of the cartoons he had seen as a child where the ships would explode if someone actually pushed the tempting crimson thing.

The ship didn't explode, though.  In fact, nothing seemed to happen until a ever familar voice rang out, reaching Joel's ears.  "Earth to the boobie, come in boobie," Dr. Forrester's detached voice said, a hint of laughter edging on it.

"D-Dr. F?"  Joel returned, confused by the whole situation.  "What happened?  Why am I up here?  Did they accidentally launch the satellite while I was cleaning?"  What seemed like a million questions threatened to pour out of the inventor's mouth, but he managed to hold it down to a few in hopes of getting them answered.

"No, no," Larry's voice replied, "You just don't understand."

"You're our guinea pig now, Joely-Poely-Pudding-and-Pie.  We've lauched you into space with this lovely satellite, and you're going to be the key to the door we'll step through when taking over the world," the certified scientist cackled, his assistant joining in not too long after.

"What do you mean?" Joel asked, naively, leaning back on the counter.  His hair was messier than he liked it to get, and the day seemed to be wearing on him at that point.

"Well, we're going to send you something that will drive you so insane that you won't be able to do anything but bow down before us," Clayton replied.  "I'm sure you're just dying to know what it is, but you'll have to wait for that, Robinsniffles!"

"What about the temperature up here?  And the power?  It's like it's getting low," Joel protested, looking around him.

"I guess you'll just have to find a way to get the ship up and running before you freeze to death," Erhardt snickered, evilly.

"See you soon, twit!" Forrester grinned and cut the communication, leaving Joel stand there with his mouth half open. 

It really took a moment longer for Joel to realize what they were saying, and when he did, it hit him like an anvil.  They had trapped him in space so they could preform some wierd scientific experiment on him, then expose it to the world.  Shaking his head, he looked at Cambot. "I've gotta get out of here..."  He started away, before skidding to a stop and looking back to the camera, "But first, I have to find a way to get power back up and on."

Running off, he was determined to get everything he needed before the ship ran out of energy.  He picked up a flashlight here, a lighter there, and all different types of machinery, lugging them all back to his room.  Things were getting colder on the ship, and he pulled on a coat that he had found stashed away in a box in hopes to get a few more hours before he couldn't stand the cold.

Then, when he was satisfied that he had all that he would need, Joel Robinson sat down and did what he does best... he built. Hours of splicing wires and fixing circuit boards seemed to be getting him no where, but he was sure that at least something good could come from all of the work. 

A circuit was removed from a broken motherboard, and some wires were pulled from inside of a broken television set.  An outter shell to the machine was formed, and Joel stole some insulation from a nook of the ship so that no oxygen would travel into the machine and carode the delicate parts.  An eleborate computer system with an inset commuications sytem was included in the building process, and little time was spent typing on an extremely old laptop that had been discarded in some small hanger bay.

Joel wasn't exactly sure how the machine would come out, but something inside of him was a guide that took him through the sets of self-given instructions.  It had always been like that for him, even when he was a child.  He always seemed to know just what button to push, or what wire to detach and reattach.  So, when he had the feeling deep in his stomach to add a voice modulator, he quickly began to pull parts together and work on the unit.

The room was steadily getting more and more bitter, and the air once again began to show the inventor's breathing.  He had tried to stay awake, but his eyes threatened to close, and when the cold finally got to him, he screwed in a few more screws and laid his head down to rest, falling asleep in the freezing room.



Disclaimer:  The story concept was orginally by Lisa Jenkins, but I'm not trying to replace her fic, just give a different side of the situation.  In fact, I absolutely love her fic, I just couldn't bear the thought of it being unfinished.  Also, all characters belong to BBI and I am making no money from this fic.