From Janitor to Astronaut: A Survival Guide
The Lightbulb
By: Karen Walker (Serris)
Beta/Edited: Stephanie Watson (SLWatson)
2000



Things were awfully slow on the Satellite of Love.  Joel realized after many boring, conversationless days, that no matter how often he tried to talk to someone, there wasn't anyone there to answer him.

Dr. Forrester had given Joel the promised gift, which happened to be a movie that the inventor was forced to watch in an empty theater.  His mind had gone numb... worse than numb, actually.  He'd stopped thinking halfway through the movie, and his brain didn't want to start again until a good three hours after he had returned to his room.

At first, he thought that he could get away with staying in his room when the doctors had fully explained the experiment to him, but reality cruelly laid a smack across his face when the oxygen was being rapidly removed from the control room on the SOL.  Not only the control room, though, it was being removed from every corridor and hanger bay on the whole ship.  The only safe place was the theater.

Safe and theater... by the time Joel had watched the first twenty minutes of the movie, he knew that those words in their entirety were contradictions of each other.  An oxymoron if he'd ever heard one in his life.  On the other hand, he was given a break partially through the movie, which helped him to gather his thoughts.

Spending his first break outside the theater was a joy, and he immediately started searching for a tank of oxygen and a mask he could use.  If the scientists were going to take all of the oxygen out of the rest of the ship, he'd just have to have a supply set aside so he could escape their evil, vile theater.

Before the creator got through two rooms, alarms were sounding down every hallway.  He recognized the klaxons the second time, unlike the first, and he traced his footsteps back to the theater and took his very same seat; front row, second seat from the right.  Staring up at the black and white film, he immediately began to wonder the reason he was there.  Honestly, he knew the reason the scientists had put him there, but could a person really go crazy because of bad movies?  It just didn't make sense... at least not for an hour.

Then the screaming came.  Shrill sirens that pierced through Joel's porous mind, causing him to flinch out of his daze.  Something was happening on the screen, but he hadn't been able to keep track of the plot.  Looking over the huge black and white screen, he made his best attempt to catch up on what had been happening, but the screams just seemed to get louder, and the ideals of the movie were lost in the seemingly endless loop of badly dressed men, and large chested women.  Maybe Dr. F would find that movie.

Shaking off the ringing that was left in his ears, Robinson squinted at his watch.  Sighing in disbelief, he sat back in his seat and closed his eyes.  Perhaps he could sleep for the last half hour of the movie.  Still, his mind raced as the characters of the movie talked in strained, unrehearsed words.  He had to find someone to talk to... anyone.  Even Gypsy was okay to talk to, but finding her when she wasn't completely busy was a task in itself.

The final minutes of the movie seemed like an hour in their own right, and when the last of the credits rolled, Joel practically stumbled his way out of the theater.  His neck ached from sitting so close to the screen, but more importantly, his mind craved something culturally fit to even out the disgusting movie he had seen.  He needed some enriching conversation, or a good book to read, and with Gypsy running the ship, he wasn't able to find either.

Sulking back to his room, he laid down on his hammock and sighed heavily.  At least he'd made it through one of the movies without being sent to the psycho ward.  Still, there was always the next movie to plague him, and he didn't enjoy that thought.  Shaking his head, he rested back in the bed and fell into a cold, dreamless sleep.


The days passed just about the same for Joel Robinson.  He woke up, changed and got ready for another day of silence.  Half the time he found himself speaking just to make sure he still had a voice, and every time he felt ridiculous when it sounded as if he was talking to himself.  At least he knew that there would be someone always listening, though.

By the time he was fed up with the silence, he had made it through three movies, or experiments as the doctors preferred to call them.  Why should he be there alone?  Sure, to be perfectly honest, he wouldn't be able to pick a friend to come and watch the movies with him, but he'd surely find someone walking down any street that would work.

A lightbulb lit up over his head... or, rather, it would have if there were any spare ones on the ship.  An idea was an idea, however, and Joel certainly had one.  If he could create a robot that was capable of independent thought and conversation once, he could do it again.  Or, at least he hoped he could.

Lifting up his sad heap of a body from the hammock in his room, he moved down the hall to his building station.  It had taken him a while to find enough parts to be sure of his first creation, but with the leftovers and the amount of extra junk in the room, he was certain that he wouldn't have to leave to find anything else.

Picking up some computer chips and another few bits and bobbles, he began his little mission.  Taking things through a different path assured him that his new creation would not a replica of the first, but a whole new entity it its entirety.  He was even excited to see how this robot would turn out as he attached one piece of plastic to another.

He wasn't really sure if he had been going for the look that the robot had turned out with, but he didn't want to second guess himself either.  The metal figure was lanky at best, with a beak and a basket behind its head.  He was gold... very gold, and his eyes were yellow, with little pieces of electrical tape shaped into diamonds.  Almost humanoid in stature, he reminded Joel of a young boy who would bound off to inevitably scrape a knee and come home crying.

He had gotten more risky when building this new robot.  He'd let his imagination go, and when it finally returned, the name Crow was pursed firmly on its lips.  He liked it, though, and it fit nicely.  So, when he flipped on the switch that sent power to the CPU, he was sure he knew what was coming.

"Oh, hey!  What the heck?  Where am I?" The robot asked, looking around as if it was blind.  "Who turned out the lights?  Ahhh..."  His voice was somewhat high pitched, but comforting to hear to his creator.

"Hold on there," Joel replied, taking a screwdriver and adjusting some wires before tightening a screw here and there.  "How's that?"

"Argh!!  I'm blind!"  The robot looked at Joel, then shook his barely balanced head.  "Well, maybe not.  Who're you?"

"I'm Joel Robinson," the inventor replied, smiling.

"Well, then, who am I?"

"You're Crow!"  For once, he had an answer for the question that seemed to be on any robot's mind when activated.

"Crow what?"  The 'bot asked, looking at his surroundings for a moment.

Immediately, Joel's smile dropped from his face.  He hadn't thought about what the rest of the creature's name might have been, but a moment of quick thinking provided the answer.  "Crow T. Robot, that's what."

Crow looked back at Joel, a somewhat disbelieving tone in his voice, "What's the 'T' stand for?"

"The, silly," the man replied, once again happy for some conversation.  Sitting back in the chair made of crates, he watched as Crow stood on his own two feet, albeit shakily.  "Careful there."

"Yea, yea, sure.  You know, you just made that up.  I can tell these things." A sarcastic reply followed the 'bot as he moved out of the room for a brief moment.  Joel, who was left behind, still smiled to himself.  Once again he'd put the right parts together, and now he had someone to talk to.  Boy, Dr. Forrester and Dr. Erhardt would sure be mad at that.

Another moment passed and the silence could have been broken by a mouse sneezing.  Back through the door, a gold head popped in and looked at Joel, "You know what?"

"What?"  The human replied, looking slightly worried that something had gone wrong.

"You're not too bad," the robot finished, leaving once again.

Perhaps it was the pride of an inventor that was seen on Joel's face as he looked around.  He had created something out of nothing, which made him feel somewhat important.  However, in all truth, it was probably the look of pride a father has when seeing their child for the first time.  That, in essence, was exactly what Joel Robinson was doing, and he enjoyed every moment of it.



Disclaimer:  The story concept was originally by Lisa Jenkins, but I'm not trying to replace her fic, just give a different side of the situation.  In fact, I absolutely love her fic, I just couldn't bear the thought of it being unfinished.  Also, all characters belong to BBI and I am making no money from this fic.