| Pin Beak By Luna “Tic” Vee *** Notes: This should take place in the same timeline as “Bubble Head”. * Disclaimer: Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyrights of Best Brains, Inc. * Beta Read By: Alapeleke Makaio Yankovic (Thanks, Spamarino!) *** Yeah. I bad. I bad. I rule this dingy of a satellite. I’m the gilded menace. I’m the king of all I survey. I am The Crow. Most see me as annoying and aggravating and perhaps dim. Perhaps. Who cares? I’m me and I like it that way. So nyeah. Nobody understands me. Nobody gets me. I don’t even understand myself. Why? Cause I’m mysterious. I do things without motive, because that’s who I am. I’m Crow T. Robot. I’m the golden typhoon. Sure, yeah, I seem full of myself. I have to be. I’m not the smartest bot in the world. Sure, smarter than, say, Mike, but who isn’t, really? I have to keep myself happy with what I am, or I’ll turn out all blubbering whiny-boy like Servo. I regret it a lot, when I make him cry, but not until it’s way past happened. I don’t want to hurt him, but it makes me feel superior in some sick way, to see him cry like a little baby. Even though he really is one. He’s the youngest of us. I shouldn’t pick on him, but I have to. It’s how I keep from doubting myself. It’s immature, I know, but it’s what I do. Servo’s so much smarter than me, he can sing better, he gets babied and carried and he’s way more observant than me. It hurts. I want that. I want the attention. I wanna be babied. I wanna be so perfect. So I make fun of him and expose his weak parts, so I can feel equal, if not better than him. Sure, he can do all that stuff, but I don’t cry. Big bots don’t cry. Mike’s a mind I can compete with. Sure, he ain’t stupid, but he’s pretty slow to catch on. I use that to my advantage to screw with him. He’s not one I regret messing with, cause I know he can take it. He’s the most patient person known to man, next to Joel himself. Mike can take a hit, sure, he’ll pout about it for a bit, but then he’ll come right back and try again. I admire that in him. He don’t give up when he gets shot down, even though he gets shot down every time. He ain’t so bad. I don’t get Gypsy or Cambot. Far out, man. Heh. I miss Joel. He was like our dad. I hope that when we get outta this free-floating tin can, we can go live with him. Or at least visit every day! Gah! We’ve got Movie Sign! Just great. And I was just about to disassemble Servo’s tapedeck! Gra! Ah well, at least I get another chance to show my worth. I am the KING of the theater. I’m witty, I’m funny, and best of all, I don’t have to compete with Mike and Servo. The riffing’s all a survival method anyway... |