Mulder sat on the steps of the front door and did as he was told. He watched the Crow army, which was discussing the best way to find Tom Servo and Joel. Some wanted to break up the group entirely and others didn't want to divide forces. The argument was heated and fiercely debated until Mulder spoke up.
"Just break into smaller groups to search the floors," Mulder said, "Let's see. There's about fifteen of you so break into groups of five and send one team to search each floor."
"Hey, wow! You're not totally useless," the main Crow complimented.
"I try," Mulder said, "I try. I don't suppose I could talk you into not running away from me again."
The Crows laughed heartily. "We don't listen to Joel or Mike, what do you think the chances of us listening to you are?" a Crow snickered.
At that moment, the front door burst open.
"Hurry up!" Commander Rick exclaimed, "You're missing the party!"
The Crows rushed forward, trampled over Commander Rick, and broke off in different directions, leaving Mulder to wonder why they gave him this job.
"Run into any Torgos?" Mulder asked as he helped Commander Rick to his feet.
"A few, they all seem to be headed to the basement to help the Masters," Rick replied.
"Masters?" Mulder asked uneasily.
"Yeah, I saw a couple of Masters and Torgos heading down. I think they're fighting the extraction team," Rick said, "What are you going to do now?"
"Well, I lost the Crows again, no surprise. I guess I'll help Scully with extraction," Mulder said.
"I'll join you," Commander Rick said.
Mulder would've gone to assist the assault team, but he knew he'd have a easier time helping Scully than he would helping Doggit. Commander Rick remembered that Sabertooth was down there and he didn't want to get caught by friendly fire.
Inside the building, the extraction team had their hands full. They met up with Kitty Pryde and Alexis and together found several rooms of unconscious or sleeping females. The women couldn't be roused and Scully couldn't find any immediate medical reason for their unconsciousness.
"Have they been drugged?" Scully asked as she examined the pupils of the nearest woman.
"I don't think so," Servo piped up, "In the movie, it was evil magic that kept them asleep until the Master ordered them to wake."
"Why didn't it work on you?" Scully asked, indicating the mutants and Alexis.
"Professor X put up psychic defenses in our minds. I guess they saved us from the Master's powers," Kitty theorized.
"I don't know why I'm immune," Alexis shrugged.
"She's too stubborn to be ruled by anyone, even her writer," Servo teased as he hovered safely behind Scully and away from Alexis.
"It doesn't matter," Married Man began, "There's a battle going on downstairs. It could bring the whole house down on us. We need to get these women out of here. Maybe if we get them out of here, the magic will fade away and they'll wake up."
With that being said, he lifted one of the unconscious women and headed for the door. Unfortunately, it flung open and he fell backwards. He landed embarrassingly with the woman on top of him. College Buddy began to snicker.
"You breathe a word of this to my wife and I'll kill you," Married Man hissed seriously.
Five Crows ran into the room with Rick and Mulder hot on their heels.
"Hmmm, no Joel," the lead Crow said sadly.
"Hey! You found me!" Servo said indignantly.
"Yeah, I guess that's true," the lead Crow said, "Come on, Servo. Let's go find Joel."
Servo followed the Crows out of the room and began to search for his creator.
"There's a shady tree a few hundred feet in front of the building," Mulder said, "We can take them there."
The extraction team members picked up several females and began carrying them out of the building. Alexis and Kitty weren't carrying anyone. They took point and rear with empty arms to fight any Torgos who tried to stop them. They had no trouble getting down stairs, but ran into some trouble on the first floor.
Alexis and Kitty stopped suddenly when they heard a voice in a room they had to pass by. It sounded like a Torgo. Married Man moved close to the door to listen. He still hadn't found his wife and was getting very concerned for her safety.
"The MaSTer wANts YoU fOR his wiFE, but He CAN't haVE yOU. I wIlL hAVe yOu for mY oWn," Torgo said.
Alexis and Kitty peered inside. They gestured for the group to move quietly passed. They intended to get the group outside, and then they would aid this woman. Married Man did not move on. Instead, he carefully put down the woman he had been carrying and moved even closer to the door. He pushed past Alexis and Kitty to look inside. The group watched as his face turned a red and his knuckles turned white. The usually mild-mannered superhero kicked the door down.
"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY WIFE!" he screamed as he began to beat the life out of Torgo.
"Wow! I've never seen him like this," College Buddy whispered.
"Married Man, you're being to loud," Scully pleaded.
"Forget it. Move on," Alexis ordered.
Kitty picked up the lady Married Man had left and the group moved out the front door. Alexis remained behind to ensure the no one locked the door behind them and to give Married Man back up. Eventually, Married Man stopped hitting Torgo. Whether Torgo was dead or merely in critical condition, no one knew or cared.
"You must love her an awful lot," Alexis remarked as Married Man carried his wife to the front door.
"She's my wife," he said as though that explained everything.
Outside, the various fictives put their burdens down and went back into the house to retrieve the others. Scully remained behind to aid in their recovery and to protect them from whatever else might be lurking outside. She didn't think you be too careful this far in the boondocks.
Meanwhile, in the deep dark basement, the assault team contemplated the best way to deal with so many enemies. Doggit kept a steady aim on one of the Masters.
"Umm...Guns don't work on him," Joel informed him.
"You tell me this now!?!" Doggit exclaimed.
"Sorry, didn't think about it 'till now," Joel shrugged.
Doggit briefly thought of turning the gun on Joel, but decided not to. Instead he aimed at a Torgo. He didn't feel like taking pot shots at underlings, but if it was all it he could do, then he would do it.
"Well, let's get this party started," Sabertooth said before he lunged at a Master. Wolverine, Mike, and Sean followed suit. Where guns failed, blunt force trauma and lacerations prevailed. The quartet was having excellent luck at tearing and slicing the Masters to pieces. Joel fired one arrow at a Master with no effect. He couldn't even see what happened to the arrow. As a result, Doggit, Shuana, and Joel shot at the Torgos to keep the other fighters from being overwhelmed. They couldn't hurt the Masters, but they had no trouble hitting the various Torgos in the knees. Jean Grey also used her telekinesis to keep the Torgos at bay while simultaneously attacking a Master telepathically. During the fray, Nan-Cy and Larry moved over to the women and tried to wake them. They couldn't, so they stood-by and tried to keep them from getting hurt.
The fight was long and hard, but eventually all the Masters and all the Torgos were on the ground. Our exhausted heroes sat down and congratulated each other on a job well down. Several more Masters and Torgos had rushed in during the battle. Overall, ten Masters had been taken out and countless Torgos were crying over their busted knees. Mike looked into the fire and contemplated their next move. After they had rested for a minute, they would take these women out of here. Hopefully, the Crows had found Joel and the extraction team had gotten the women out of the upper floors.
"Umm...Mike, is it just me or is that firing getting bigger?" asked Nan-Cy.
Mike looked over to where she pointed. He had hardly noticed the fire in the center of the room when the battle started. How could he? He was too busy hacking up Masters. The small bonfire was growing and growing.
"I think we found the writer," Joel gulped.
"I am the great and powerful Manos! Lord over all Masters and Torgos and women they desire," a voice boomed, "Arise my Masters! Arise my Torgos! DESTROY THE MSTing SCUM!!."
"Well, this isn't good," Joel remarked as he notched an arrow.
Amanda
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The bow-string pulled taut, and Joel felt rather than looked at the smooth wood arrow being set in it's right position. He closed one blue eye to aim, hoping that it would make a difference.
He fired.
The arrow ran true it's course, it's path one that archers of yore would admire. And then it hit the flames and vanished.
"IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?!"
A lash of fire leapt out, quite nearly taking the ShadowKnight with it, and Mike gave his partner a wide-eyed look. "You okay?"
Joel checked to make sure he had all of his body parts before nodding. "That was close."
It was the writer, yes, and one that obviously had no problems with omnipotence or plot devices. Sabe and Wolvie fell into a black hole and were swallowed by it. Doggit's gun fell into pieces. Joel's bow simply vanished, as well as Mike's sword.
Mike narrowed his eyes at the flaming beast. Taking his sword was asking for an ass-kicking of the first degree, and he growled, "That's it. I'm not gonna play nice anymore."
"YOU HAVE NO CHOICE..."
The flames flickered in an odd sort of way, and what looked to be a holographic image of the Manager Joel appeared, chained to a wall in shackles. Seems that audio came with it as well, and they could see one lone Torgo pacing in front of the bound man. "ThE MAsTEr wAnTS YoU fOR hIS WIfe."
"Oh my God." ShadowKnight Joel swallowed, watching this with more horror and shock than he had felt in quite some time.
"That's... sick," Nan-Cy muttered, and was heartily agreed with by everyone else in the room.
Manager Joel tried to deflect the attention, laughing nervously, "Well, that's awfully flattering, but uh... I'm a man, you know, and that would be kinda weird."
Torgo looked fairly stumped. "Oh."
ShadowKnights Mike and Joel exchanged a glance and breathed a sigh of relief. They were just about to write the entire charade off as being incredibly stupid when a high-pitched voice came from the projection and made their blood run cold.
"Hi! My name's Neko-chan, but you can call me NEKO!"
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On the projection, a teenage fictive with a large cat lying across her shoulders stepped into view. There was a certain air about her that seemed to scream 'blatant self insertion'.
Mike couldn't bring himself to believe what he was seeing. "Ashley Forrester is a Master?"
The writer was angered by this suggestion. "DO YOU THINK I ONLY ENLISTED MANOS FICTIVES?" it roared. "I HAVE ACCESS TO WHOM OR WHATEVER I WISH. WHO DO YOU THINK SENT MICKEY INTO THE WOODS TO MEET YOU? "
"So this was all planned," The ShadowKnight Joel hypothesized, "But why?"
"I HAVE MY REASONS…"
---
The extraction team returned to the outside from their latest rounds. No matter how hard they worked, there just seemed to be more and more women. Luckily, they hadn't had trouble with roving Torgos since Married Man had pounded the one he found with his wife. On the other hand, the Crow army hadn't been seen since the members left with Tom Servo to find Joel.
"Place them over to the left," Scully instructed. She also wasn't having trouble with stray fictives. The women that had been pulled from the building were still fast asleep. Nothing had changed for the better or the worst.
"Another room emptied," Mulder told his partner. "Everywhere in and around here has become quiet. Too quiet. The Torgos seemed to have disappeared."
"It's probably nothing," Scully said. The last thing she wanted was another drawn out theory. At least not when they still had a job to do. As the team left, Scully turned her attention back to the rescued fictives. There was still no change. Whatever it was that was causing the women to sleep wasn't letting up.
Meanwhile, the extraction team had returned to the second floor and found another room. Alexis entered first. She looked around the darkened chamber. "Hey, there's nothing in here," she called back as the rest of the team came in.
"How odd," Mulder commented, his voice echoing off the walls.
"That's different," Commander Rick remarked as he glanced at the room.
"Do you think maybe we found all of the kidnapped women?" Collage Buddy suggested. He was answered by the door slamming shut and the lights suddenly flickered on, allowing a full view of the room. "We're surrounded!" Buddy yelped, more or less speaking for the rest of the team.
An army of Torgo fictives had surrounded the extraction team when they entered, but it had been too dark before for the team to notice. Leading the troop was a version of Dr. Forrester, who was extremely tall, considering the cannon character he was supposed to represent. "So they said my plans for a super race were insane. At least one can find new employment easily in Subreality." The Forrester said, before signaling the Torgos to attack.
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"NOBODY MOVE!" shouted Mulder as he raised his gun. The Torgos hesitated.
"Oh Puh-lease," the lofty Dr. Forrester said mockingly. He approached Mulder with one hand hiding something behind his back.
"STAY BACK!" Mulder shouted. Forrester kept walking closer. Mulder took a deep breath and fired his gun several times. Not all of the shots missed, but it didn't matter. Although moving more slowly, Dr. Forrester kept coming; raising the clown hammer he'd hidden behind his back. When he was close enough, Dr. Forrester kicked Mulder's gun out of his hand and brought the hammer down on Mulder's skull. Mulder went down faster than a dead pine tree in a hurricane.
"Get...*gasp*...get them," Forrester moaned.
The army of Torgos attacked. College Buddy sincerely wished the he had brought the gun from his truck. It wouldn't have helped him against Forrester, but it might've damaged the Torgos. Since he wasn't Dr. Who and had no time travel abilities, he had to just go at them with his fists. College Buddy found that it wasn't too difficult. The Torgos were pretty slow compared to him, but there were so many of them.
Married Man didn't join the fight right away. He dodged the blows and tried to think of a way out of this that didn't involve fighting. His wife always yelled at him whenever she found out that he'd been fighting. He tried to recall an adventure where he actually got to fight an adversary with his fists. He couldn't think of one, not one that he remembered anyway. All of the previous battles he'd ever won were won by his brains. A wild grin spread across his face as he realized that this was the very first time he would actually be able to fight evil without getting in trouble. His wife didn't have to find out. Surely, the others wouldn't tell her. That thought sent him into battle with great enthusiasm.
Commander Rick had no desire or intention to fight. He ran to the door and tried to force it open, but it was locked tight. Rick was about to look for a place to hide when two Torgos grabbed him by the arms.
Alexis and Kitty held their own against the mighty hoard. Though all the fighters were much faster and stronger than the Torgos, they were clearly losing. There were just too many Torgos to fight; even if they did succeed there was the monster of a Forrester to deal with.
When they were all but beaten, the evil Dr. Forrester raised the clown hammer again and went for the nearest hero. The nearest hero happened to be Married Man
"Married Man! Look out!" cried Commander Rick as the hammer came down.
Married Man had no time to react and took the full force of the blow. He didn't go down as Mike and Mulder had in times past. He staggered and groaned, but remained on his feet as the overwhelming Torgos restrained the remaining fighters.
"Are you okay, Man?" College Buddy asked.
Nobody had bothered to restrain the barely conscious hero.
"Owww! Where am I? Who am I?" the stunned hero asked. Slowly his vision focused and he saw Dr. Forrester holding the hammer.
"Hey, you! Jerk! I'll teach you to hit Wild Man!" Married Man cried before launching an attack at the overly tall fictive.
"Oh, no," groaned College Buddy, "That blow to the head must have turned him into his alter ego, Wild Man."
"Wild Man?" Alexis asked.
"It's a long story that involves Married Man's arch nemesis, a car accident, and lots of alcohol," Collage Buddy explained as he struggled against two Torgos. He didn't think that even Wild Man could handle this overgrown Forrester.
Kitty chose that moment to phase out of the Torgos' grip and fought against Alexis's captors. Alexis, in turn, aided College Buddy. The battle began anew and this time the good guys were winning. Wild Man and Dr. Forrester seemed pretty evenly matched. The Torgos were pretty disorganized and demoralized from the lost victory. This time the stuttering fools were completely overcome by the forces of the extraction team. With all the Torgos down, the team roughly knocked the evil scientist down, subdued, and began questioning him.
"What are you doing here? What evil Writer supports you?" Alexis demanded unkindly.
"I'll never talk!" Dr. Forrester declared stubbornly. Wild Man savagely kicked him in the gut, yelped, and danced around on one foot. It felt like he'd kicked a brick wall. The puzzled Commander Rick knelt down and opened the lab coat.
"Aha! A bullet proof vest, you little sneak!" Wild Man exclaimed. "Why I oughta'..."
Before he could finish, College Buddy smacked him in the head with the hammer that Forrester had dropped in the fight. The stunned super hero staggered around in circles trying to clear his aching head.
"Trust me. It's for the best. Wild Man is too unpredictable to trust," College Buddy explained to the puzzled group before giving Forrester a light kick to the head. "Talk!"
"I don't know who the Writer is. I was told by a Master that if I directed some Torgos, then I'd get some new test subjects and revenge on all the MST3k fictives who riffed my glorious crossover," Forrester said. "You can't defeat us. We'll always outnumber you with our disposable henchmen. Buwahahahahahaha!"
College Buddy pulled his leg back for another kick at Forrester's head. Unfortunately, Forrester had managed to struggle out of Kitty's grip, caught College Buddy's foot, and threw him down. Forrester punched Alexis in her good eye, and then wrapped his hands around Rick's throat and lifted him into the air.
Rick thought he was about to black out when a squad of Crows broke the door down. The squad took one look at the overgrown Dr. Forrester and started firing.
"For Joel!" they cried.
Forrester dropped Rick and charged the bots. He made it within about five feet of the bots before the blaster fire cut through his bulletproof vest. After a few more shots, the towering Dr. Forrester fell down as dead as anyone in Subreality could.
"Ya'know. We probably should've made him tell us where Joel is," a Crow commented.
"No, if he'd known where Joel was then...I don't think...there be anything to find," another Crow said solemnly.
The other Crows nodded their heads in agreement.
"Well, no Joel here. Let's go," yet another Crow said as he looked around. The squad ran out the room as fast as they had entered to rejoin the army on the first floor.
"Are you okay, Rick?" Kitty asked. Some of those blasts had been awful close. Had Rick been hit?
"I'm fine. I think," Rick said slowly as he patted his body looking for blaster wounds. He didn't feel any so he climbed to his feet. He had felt the heat of the blasts, but the bots had not even singed him. It made sense he figured. How could a robot miss its target?
"What happened?" Mulder and Married Man asked in unison after they'd recovered.
The rest of the extraction team sighed before moving on to the next room. There were only a few more rooms on the second floor to check before moving on. They hope there weren't any more females to retrieve, but they had to check and make sure.
-----
All fifteen members of the Crow army and Servo reassembled on the first floor.
"Joel must be on an even lower floor. I say we head to the basement," the lead Crow declared.
"The assault team is down there fighting," Servo mentioned. "It could be dangerous."
"Then stay behind babybot. We're going to find Joel," the lead Crow sneered.
The army found a stairwell leading to the basement and headed down. Servo hesitated a moment before following. "I'm not a babybot!" Servo called after them.
----
"I know who you are, Ashley Forrester," Manager Joel said carefully. Torgo's comments were bad enough, but when Ashley showed up Joel had the feeling that he was in really deep trouble. Joel unconsciously tugged on the chains that held him to the wall. He very much wanted to be somewhere else. "What do you want from me?"
"Well, it's kind of embarrassing really," Ashley began. "Our group of MST3k fictives visited Subreality a little while ago. I think you met our Mike..."
Joel nodded, remembering the poor sad version of Mike.
"Well," Ashley continued, "Mike and bots came back at the appointed time. Joel, our Joel that is, is still missing. Our Writer thinks he's just lost. I suspect he's in hiding."
"I don't blame him," Joel said honestly.
Neko-chan hissed and lunged at Joel's face. Joel couldn't protect his face very well with the way his arms were chained. He ducked his head to avoid the worst of the scratching. The cat quickly left a few scratches on his scalp before leaping back into Ashley's arms. Joel made a mental note to keep his mouth shut about Technoservo and her characters, at least for now.
"Anyway, our Writer sent me out to find our Joel. She didn't trust her other fictives to reenter Subreality. They might get 'lost'," Ashley started again, "I haven't been able to find him and, frankly, I'm tired of looking. I got an offer from another Writer. They offered me a suitable Joel, in return I agreed to blast any fictives who decided to storm the dungeon."
Joel turned pale and his heart raced. This did not sound very good.
"Uhh...you don't mean...I'm not the suitable Joel you're looking for, am I?" Joel asked fearfully.
"Yep, you are. That's it exactly," Ashley said with a lop-sided grin, "Finally, you'll get to have some adventures."
"Great," Joel muttered sarcastically.
"In the mean time, we're moving you to another cell," Ashley said as Torgo approached Joel. "I suspect the dungeon will be attacked sooner or later and I'm not risking losing you. It'd be a serious pain if I had to find another Joel. I could snatch one from Shanty Town. That's what we were doing before, but they all fade away too soon."
Joel got himself ready. As soon as Torgo unshackled him, Joel pushed Torgo down and was ready to bolt for the door. He had gone two steps when he stopped in his tracks. Ashley stood in front of the door. A fireball was floating above her hand and she looked ready fry him.
"Don't even think it," Ashley warned. "You're valuable, but not indispensable. If I find you too difficult, I'll burn you without hesitation. Torgo told me that there's a Joel in the basement that will do just as well as you."
Joel gulped and didn't move. Torgo got up slowly and chained Joel's arms behind his back and hobbled his legs so that he could walk, but not run.
Torgo held Joel by the arm as he marched him down even deeper into the dungeon. Ashley followed, fireball in hand to block escape. Joel's mind went numb as he thought of desperate escape plans. He couldn't think of one that didn't involve getting burned. Suddenly, Torgo moaned, released his grip on Joel, and fell forward. Joel looked down and saw a very, deep ugly burn on Torgo's back. Joel looked back at Ashley with a puzzled expression.
"Keep walking," Ashley said. "I've got what I needed from this Writer. I see no reason not to simply walk out with my prize. Besides, if they did storm the dungeon, I don't think I could stop all of them, anyway."
"You think you can double-cross a Writer?" Joel asked incredulously.
"I can try. There's an exit about a 100 feet ahead," Ashley explained. "We'll sneak out and head straight to Technoservo land, where the Writer I double-crossed can't reach me. Technoservo probably won't let us back into Subreality again, but that's okay. I don't like it here very much anyway."
Amanda
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"All right, Joel's in more trouble than I can even describe," Mike said, pacing past the spot where the fire had just poofed from existance, the projection having gone. "Did anyone notice anything about that room he was in? Did it look familiar at all?"
"Uhm... actually, come to think of it, it did," Doggit answered, brow furrowing as he tried to remember.
"But from where?" Joel posed the question, going through every single dungeon setting he could in his mind and trying to place that particular one. It had to be something fairly common, or they wouldn't all think it to be familiar.
"Frankenstein!" Nan-Cy said suddenly, looking at the others. "Frankenstein, 1931."
Well, who didn't know that one? Even people who hadn't seen it themselves were familiar with it, and if they weren't before, coming to Subreality made them familiar with it. That *had* to be it! There were enough Halloween stories that had been written in the day, and Subreality had more than a few Halloween fictives who kept to their own little part of the realm.
"That's it!" Joel yipped, jumping up and down once in boyish enthusiam.
"Yeehaw!" Mike added, giving Nan-Cy a mile-wide, beaming grin. "Good job!"
"But where is this dungeon?" Doggit asked, somewhat practically. "It's definitely not in here... someone would've found Joel by now, with all of the people storming this building."
The air shifted noticably. Mike cleared his throat, stubbing the toe of his sneaker into the ground and not looking up. "On the other side of Shantytown."
----
"AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh-- *poof*"
Like Wile E. Coyote, Logan and Vic landed in a small dustcloud, both comically unharmed but with a few yellow birds flitting in circles around their heads. After a moment, Vic snatched one of the birds out of the air and ate it, and the rest dispersed.
"Well, this is real f*ckin' terrific," Logan growled, standing and brushing himself off. He looked around after a moment. "Where are we?"
"Looks like some B-movie se--"
"ROOOOOOOOOAR!"
"Ohhhhh sh*t."
Victor and Logan decided to try out their marathon running. Godzilla decided to follow.
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