I have to disagree with a statement you made. You said that you feel bad that Hashem gave you a beautiful perfect baby and you're giving him back so damaged. I'm sorry - to have a child who, in a very short time, way too short a time, brought joy to so many people, and made such a Kiddush Hashem by just being who he is, to me means that that is a 'heilige neshamah' that performed its tafkid here on this earth - and "did its job" , did what he was put here to do. The physical part, as terrible as it surely must be for you and Michoel, has almost nothing to do with your Yossi. I don't know if this will help you at all, but someone once told me that what a person can 'tu uf' [accomplish] in his last hours on earth - by suffering through yissuring and indignities, can literally Maybe it's a chutzpah of me to say this, but I wake up in the morning thinking of him, and go to sleep thinking of you all, and trying to take comfort from the fact that, as Michoel put it, at least he is not in pain or afraid. You both also surely know that you've done every tiny thing you could to ease him, comfort him, and help him. From what I've read, there is nothing either of you held back, or said is just too hard, or didn't bother with, you tried everything, and you're holding on and supporting him in every way. With thoughts of you all,
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