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Disclaimer: Voyager and all its characters belong to Paramount, no copyright infringement intended, etc. This is just something written by a fan for other fans to enjoy (or despise :D) | ||||||||
Feeling | ||||||||
by Jessica | ||||||||
"There you are again... sitting alone on that bench. The park is silent this evening; a drastic change from the way things usually are. "... Kind of like this date in itself; the day I'll always remember, in that year I'll never forget. "Your smile now brightens the enveloping darkness, your eyes sparkling softly, your hair done up in that ponytail that has always caught my eye. "Perhaps, if your head was turned to the left a little more, you would see the smile on my face right now. "I move closer... and suddenly I pick you up and gaze at you with eyes that I know express the strongest of my feelings for you better than any mere words. Feelings of love and passion, of fear and regret. Feelings of hope and promise which I have kept inside of me for so long. "I've never told you how I really feel. I've told you that I care; I've expressed those feelings as best I could through my actions. But as I look into your eyes, I know now that I could have done better in that past. "When, once, I thought I could never utter those words which every woman longs to hear; those three words that have the power to bring pure happiness and joy, or that can bring heartbreak and total destruction of the soul... I now know that I can. "To tell you my most secret of feelings, the most carefully guarded... and how deep those feelings run... it would be so wonderful. "If only I had told you when I first realized that I truly love you-I would have been able to feel that great feeling that accompanies such confessions much earlier on. But how could I trust myself to express those feelings to you in the right way; how could I have been sure that you would return those feelings so soon... when our voyage together was only beginning... "You said you would die for our cause; to get us home where we belong. And although I took that promise with the seriousness it merits, I still never imagined what it would be like, never to see that smile, so vibrant... to see those eyes sparkling again... To never share our feelings by candlelight over dinner as the music plays softly, just as I always imagined we would someday. "You deserve to know how I feel right now. You always have, especially in the hardest of times, when those words could have brought you away from darkly clouded thoughts and into a new world of happiness. "But I regret now, more than ever, the truth that is at this time most certainly inevitable; I cannot tell you face-to-face. I cannot profess my love for you in the way I've always hoped to. "I wonder, Kathryn... Did you ever realize, then, the true emotions I hid behind shy expressions of caring and defense for you and your honor... Did you ever notice the smiles... that were more than just smiles; special greetings and responses reserved only for you... ?" "I fear now that you did not; that you never really did. I regret the foolishness and fear that I possessed then, which kept me from taking the one thing I desired most from life. A life with you. "But then I stop myself, I stop the thoughts that I know are only more expressions of those fears which I also know, deep in my heart, to be irrational. " . . Then I slide the picture back inside my pocket, and I shake my head slowly at myself. I smile - that smile reserved only for you; "You knew, all right, Kathryn; You always knew." The End Home |
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