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The following pages are made in mono-color for you to print out. Your friend, Mimi
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VIII SOME JAPANESE SOCIAL CUSTOMS AND ATTITUDE from
p33 of the Handbook for International Students 2000-2001,
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This
handbook was kindly provided from Vita, whom I met through this homepage, |
Upon meeting each other for the first, second or umpteenth time, men and women bow although the more cosmopolitan shake hands. Often, persons will bow and shake hands simultaneously! Ask your advisor for advice about how to greet persons who are senior and junior to you, your peers, and other categories of persons you will meet in Japan. When in doubt, always ask someone, preferably older than you, for suggestions. First names are generally not used in Japan. Most Japanese use the family name followed by san (Mr./Miss/Mrs.), sensei (literally, "teacher", but used in addressing not only professors but also physicians, dentists, politicians), or the title of the person being addressed (e.g., Tanaka Kyoju/ Professor Tanaka, Tanaka Bucho/ Director Tanaka, Tanaka Gakucho/ President Tanaka). When in doubt and there is no one immediately available for advice, use san. Since your name may be difficult for Japanese to pronounce, you may be asked to provide a nickname, e.g., "Mak-san" for Mr. McDonald. Japanese may use nicknames or first names among themselves but foreigners should refrain from doing so until they are asked! Invitations are extended in person, by telephone or printed invitations for formal receptions or dinners and all should be taken seriously. If invited to a meal, itis likely that it will be at a restaurant rather than at someone's home. It is polite to arrive on time, to take a small token of your appreciation ( a potted plant, flowers, sweets ) especially if you are going to a private home, and to say thank you afterwards by telephone, postcard, or letter. The status of women in Japan can be characterized as "traditional." That is, although female students comprise about one-fourth of the student population of four-year universities and 90% of the junior colleges, they do not have the same job and career opportunities as men. Many companies have separate programs for women, usually one-career track, and follow practices that would be considered discriminatory in other societies. Although more women continue to work after marriage and bearing children, the "ideal" image is still that of "ryo-sai ken-bo" or "good wife, good mother," who tends the home and family while the husband is the breadwinner. The female spouse will generally do all of the cleaning, cooking and other chores. Sometimes when entertaining foreigners, Japanese wives will partially order a meal, e.g., osashimi (raw seafood) from the fish shop, o-sushi from the nearby sushi shop, roasted meat from a department or meat store. Western visitors have noted that they sometimes had urged their host's wife to join them at the table since she was so busy serving. If you are concerned about not wanting to cause too much trouble and expense, you might emphasize that you would appreciate sharing a typical Japanese family meal. Unlike other countries where a "couple" is the usual social unit, in Japan it is typical for only the husband to be invited to business gatherings or to weddings for company employees. Exceptions are frequently made for foreign visitors depending on the occasion, but women spouses should not take their exclusion as a personal slight. Japanese women, on the other hand, usually hold their own women-only functions, including overnight trips to hotsprings. It is quite common for two colleagues who have been working together for a lifetime not to have met the other's family. Western visitors, particularly women, are frequently appalled at some of the blatant sexist attitudes manifested in the popular media and entertainment industry. 5. Dating and Courting Patterns Dating and courting patterns are on one hand changing rapidly while on the other remaining quite traditional. The omiai ("matchmaking" often misinterpreted as the "arrange marriage") is still prevalent where two persons are introduced by friends or go-betweens who have first investigated the family/personal back-grounds of the two parties to ensure a degree of compatibility. While dating is common, the underlying assumption between two Japanese is that marriage is the eventual objective. Therefore, foreign visitors must be sure to make their intentions clear to avoid any misunderstanding. Do not be surprised to hear the terms "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" used frequently in casual comversation since they usually simply refer to female and male friends. One of the pleasures of living and traveling in Japan is the absence of tipping in everyday life. In the hotels, taking taxis, dining out, having groceries delivered, ordering "de-mae" (telephone orders for noodles, sushi, etc. from a nearby shop), having something repaired in your home and the like, no tipping is expected or necessary. Hotels and more expensive restaurants will add a 10-15% service charge, but the same cheerful services without the expectation of a tip can usually be expected in even a simple noodle or coffee shop. Exceptions are where one may request out of the ordinary services. Foreign visitors frequently comment on the different sense of privacy, both physical and psychological, between them and Japanese. Physically, the Japanese are accustomed to living in smaller spaces so that one room not only serves many functions but several persons must share the same space. Thus, in the home it is only recetly where children in upper-middle class families have begun to have their own bedrooms. Small children frequently share the same futon with their parents even into elementary school. A typical Japanese office will consist of a large open area with perhaps one or two private offices in the rear. Desks are aligned in a row, face-to-face under conditions that foreigners would find difficult. In the typical hospital or dentist's office, the doctor will examine the patient not in an enclosed private office but frequently in a curtained-off area or, if no undressing is involved, in full view of another patient sitting in the next chair being checked by another doctor! Facilities could be described as spartan and adequate compared to the almost homelike and often luxurious settings of the doctor's office in other countries. In the bank, when conducting a transaction or using the cash machine, it may be disconcerting to find someone standing right behind you. Foreign visitors are often taken aback by what they consider to be very private and personal questions ("Do you have a boyfriend?", "Why aren't you married?", "How old are you?"). They should realize that these are questions that are often asked of each other by the Japanese in television and newspaper interviews and are not regarded as prying, nosy questions! In a society where human relationships are so important, there are attempts to build intimacy across vertical social structures. Sometimes, they are the only English phrases that a Japanese may know and may be an attempt to make "small talk". A good way to defer answering is to return the question to the questioner, or replying in a joking manner. Always smile! The differences between foreigners and Japanese regarding physical contact may be summarized by the observation that foreigners dislike physical contact with strangers, which Japanese seem quite indifferent or inured to while avoiding physical contact with friends and members of the family which foreigners indulge in freely. A commuter in a crowded New York subway is careful to avoid any physical contact with the next strap hanger whereas in Japan, the typical commuter has no choice but to be pressed against several persons. Bumping someone on the street is considered rude abroad, whereas it is a common occurrence without even an "excuse me" in Japan. On the other hand, hugging and kissing among friends and family --- even after a long separation --- is umcommon in Japan. Japanese who have lived abroad will be more accustomed to the more effusive greetings of foreigners but generally speaking a warm handshake and grasping of the other's arm is within the comfortable parameters for the average Japanese. 9. Crime, Safety and Drugs in Japan Japan is frequently cited as one of the safest countries in the world according to statistics on homicide, theft and other measurements of crime. One can walk or travel at night without apprehension and, most people carry considerable cash since transactions are usually by cash (except in department stores, hotels and expensive restaurants where credit cards are frequently used.) One hears many stories of forgotten briefcases on trains, subways, and taxis that eventually make their way back to the owners. The police box in the neighborhood adds to the feeling of safety as residents can inquire about directions, lost pets, and other matters. The police box is also aware of all the residents within their purview (through the registration system, which the Japanese are also subject to ) which is said to account for the low crime rate. Of course one must observe the basic rules of safety aplying everywhere but need not be psychologically on guard at all times. The Japanese attitude toward narcotics of any kind including marijuana is very severe. Importation or use of drugs will lead to incarceration until the time of deportation, and permanent barring from Japan. An individual can be arrested for use of drugs several weeks or months after the act. There are absolutely no exceptions to the severity with which the law is applied. There have been cases of arrest and deportation of overseas students because of possession of marijuana. 10. Drinking and Public Drunkenness In contrast to the strict laws and public attitude toward use of narcotics, the Japanese are very tolerant of what to Westerners may appear to be excessive drinking and public inebriation. Beer, sake and whisky are availabe everywhere, including convenience stores, on trains, and in almost all dining establishments. Most business entertainment takes place at night, and it is the common practice for office colleagues to have a drink after a long day's work before going home, frequently after 10 p.m. filled with men in high spirits, some of whome may wish to practice their English conversation with them. The Japanese tend to excuse whatever an individual may say or do under the influence of alcohol. The next day in office, no reference is made to the previous night's behavior. This may be one aspect of the Japanese compartmentalization of behavior according to each situation rather than universal behavior applicable at all times. Back to the Top One of the first Japanese words you will hear in reference to you is "Gaijin," literally translated as "outside person". For those who came from a heterogeneous society composed of immigrants from throughout the world, it may be troubling to be referred to as a "foreigner," "alien," or "gaijin." The term "gaijin" is not generally used to downgrade foreigners although some visitors who live in rural areas, where people are unaccustomed to foreigners, sometimes find it very annoying to have children point fingers at them while calling out "gaijin." Others wonder why Japanese do not identfy foreigners as "Americans," "British," "Australians," rather than lumping all non-Japanese together as "gaijin." Long-time foreign residents of Japan may also find it annoying to still be referred to as "gaijin," but the countnuing use of the term must be understood in terms of Japan's historical development and relative homogeneity. *The majority of "Everyday life", "Some Japanese Social Custom and Attitude" and "Culture Shock" were quoted from ACADEMIC YEAR IN JAPAN by the Japan-United States Educational Commission with permission.
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