| My Dear One And Only Grandson: It's '130' days today, that you are gone, I don't know how your mother gonna make it, she doesn't see any reason, for living. I hope she will realize, and have the courage, because it's so many unfinished business, what we have to attend to. I know I have to make it, I have to have the courage -to go on, these animals who killed you - should be caught, and should be punished! I am not gonna lie to you, and I'm not gonna lie for you, I wouldn't lie for the law, and I wouldn't lie for myself. I always told the truth. Even if it hurts, I will tell the truth. We always lived our life honestly, the best way we knew, this is what you saw, when you were with us. We only bought things, when we had the money for, it, we never jacked-up the credit cards, we always paid it on time. We didn't have the luxurious lifestyle, to jack-up the credit card, claim bankruptcy, or disappear. In our family, no body lived with the 'first cousin in marrriage', like your father's sister - in the past 15 years. That's why I always said it to you: "I don't have to go to Church, I don't have any sins". When you were a little baby, and I held you in my arms, you were sleeping, and my tears were running in my face. I wondered what the future will hold. On your first Birthday, we bought you the white trans am, model toy car, you could sit in. In the beginning - you were going backwards, because your feet - didn't reach the pedals. You had everything, with the limits, your Grandfather was working 85 hours in a week, so we wouldn't go short of anything. And he played with you, before he fell asleep. And me, I played with you, every day, when you were around me Darling Grandson - I have to write it down, 1994, June the 9th. You left the house, the school was close to ending, and you went for an interview - for work in the summertime. My last word was to you - "Please, don't do anything foolish". In the afternoon, the phone rang, and you were arrested. The only crime you had: a screwdriver in your pocket, and the security guard caught you with a 15 year-old friend, at the underground parking lot, and they called the police. When the police arrived, again - your so-called friends - the twins - who drove you there, with their car, they disappeared! And you took the blame, and you were charged with a 'screwdriver in your pocket'. I bailed you out, and I said it to you: "I will work with the lawyer, but you will have to be punished, so you wouldn't hang around with friends, who are up to no good" I understand the law, how people work around it, and some people will say - "My child is innocent". I didn't say that. I thought, you have to learn the lesson, because I was for sure, the attempt was there, to steal a car stereo. Again, it wasn't for you, because your mother bought the 800$ stereo, which was installed in the car, what you were driving too. You supposed to gone to court, 1994 August the 29th. It wasn't a huge crime, on the worst situation: you would have got maybe a month, or a half-way house, and probation. We always loved you, and in our mind, we had the right decision, 'if you learn in your younger years, and you see the example of our lives, and how hard your mother was working, you will grow up, a responsible human being'. But you talked to your father - who doesn't know the meaning of responsibility, and he came and kidnapped you - through Sarnia: and made you an 'illegal alien'. As a responsible father: he should have said: "What's the charge - against you, I will talk to your lawyer, and we will see this through, and if you have to be punished - I will stand beside you, and after that - if you want to come with me, I willl take you - legally". A responsible - decent father: would have done it this way. But he didn't even have the brain, to comprehend - 'to not show up at court, follows a bench warrant'. Naturally, he didn't care, he didn't care - what kind of damage this will make on your life,or on your mother's life. That time, he took you to Florida, because he was 'chilling out' - there. You called me collect - may times: we talked. I tried to explain it to you: the 'bench warrant - is a serious charge'. And instead of listening to us, you listened to your father. When you were here, we watched you like a hawk. When we did the laundry, your mother and I turned you pockets - inside and out, because we didn't want you to get into the wrong crowd, or use drugs. Your father - offered drugs to you. My Darling Grandson: My heart is broken, nothing could replace you, and I have to live with this sorrow, with your Grandfather: for the Rest Of Our Lives! As I am telling the truth, and putting the sentences on paper, I hope your father will remember, for the rest of his life: September 28, 2001, when he kissed goodbye, on your shoulder, your body was still warm. And it will be a reminder for him: Every Single Day! I don't know what went wrong., But I know it for sure, there were many problems, which your father helped to create! When you were here, you always had spending money, but we always kept an eye: how much money you have, and what you bought on it. You never could come home, not even with an extra pencil, or a t-shirt, because in our house: stealing was not allowed! If you would have had a loving atmosphere around you, the people who cared about you, you wouldn't have met garbage friends, who doesn't worth to live on this earth. It breaks my heart: we had to loose you, such a young age, with such a vicious murder! A split second, and you were dead! Nothing hurts for you - know. But We Will Suffer: The Rest Of Our Lives, And We Will Miss You, Because We Always Loved You! Moritz Mama February, 4, 2002 |