The next day when I had come around properly from the anaesthetic a lady came round to give me some leaflets and try to explain it better to me. I couldn't stop crying as she was telling me that that is why I wasn't having periods and it might be difficult for me to have children, but at least I had a name for my pain. I then went home and took it easy for a few days but I needed to find out more about Endometriosis so I went and searched the Internet. I came across a fantastic group called 'Teens with Endo' which have helped me more than any of them could know. I also came across random web pages with stories on them about what Endometriosis had done to them, and it horrified me, I was only 14, I shouldn't have to be dealing with all this! I started getting very depressed, I was losing my friends at school, getting bullied, no-one understood why I was having so much time off. In the end I gave up with school, decided that at that point it wasn't important to me! I still went in but every day I was falling more and more into my pit of depression, the only person who could put a smile on my face was my boyfriend at the time. I was in year 10 and school work was getting too much pressure for me so I just gave up with that as well, didn't pay attention to it. Then the summer holidays hit and I was no closer to any more answers, I was waiting for an appointment with my gynaecologist. When it finally came I was really bad depression wise, the worst I thought I could get, boy was I wrong! The pain was still as bad so that never helped really.
My gynaecologist referred me to one of his colleagues who is based in Leeds who specialises in Endometriosis. I met with this gynaecologist and two of his colleagues, a clinical psychologist and a dialator nurse. He said he was going to do a scan on me called an MRI scan so they could have a better look at what was going on. I was terrified but I knew it had to be done, I think I was more scared of what else they would find. The results came backthat my Endo was back and worse and that they thought they knew why I wasn't havingperiods, I was born without a cervix so there was no passage from my womb to the outside world. He said he could do an operation to create a cervix but it might not work and it would be a lot of work from both me and him or I could have a hysterectomy well I was only 15 so not a chance was I having a hysterectomy so I opted for the other one. It was scary as hell not knowing what was happening to me, not knowing if my body would accept what they were going to do. The operation was going to take months of organising because of the amount of very specialised people that had to be there so I was told it would be nearer Xmas so all I could do was sit and wait but I wasn't in too bad pain because he put me on a drug to suppress my hormones.
While I was waiting for this operation I went back to school and tried to knuckle down and get on with my life In the end I got so depressed my doctor told me to have time off so I did and I went back after half term but that didn't work either I told my mum I was dropping out as I couldn't handle the pressure. We tried to come to some agreement with my school, and I dropped all my subjects apart from English, Maths and Science and that gave me more time to myself but not enough so in the end I dropped out completely and that made me even more depressed. I got to the point where I couldn't leave my house, wouldn't see what friends I had left, and the only reason I left was to go to my Dad's house or to see my doctor.
Xmas came and went and I'd still not heard from the hospital and I just got worse and worse. Then one day I got the date for the 14th April 2003, I had to go in two days earlier so they could do lots of blood tests. The operation lasted 4.5 hours and when I came round I was taken up to HDU (High Dependency Unit) where i spent the first 24 hours before being transferred back onto a ward. I had to spend 4 days without moving off my back and then another 4 days without moving out of bed although I was allowed to sit up.