What I
Learned About Hurricanes in
Floridian Humor Some things I learned in
1. Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
2. No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without
electricity.
3. Kids can survive 4 plus days without a video game controller in their
hands.
4. Cats are really irritating without power.
5. He who has the biggest generator wins.
6. Women can actually survive without doing their hair--you just wish
they
weren't around you.
7. A new method of non-lethal torture - showers without hot water. This is
for the lucky ones on city water. If you have a well and no generator, it's
time to bathe in the pool!
8. TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.
9. A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable
temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for 8
more hours.
10. There are a lot of trees around here.
11. Flood plan drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.
12. Contrary to most
without traffic lights does not increase.
13. Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not
required to keep your house standing, and during wind surges becomes flying
weapons.
14. Just because you're over 21 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as
you want. At least that's what the cops told me during a curfew stop.
15. Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14
generators.
16. People will get into a line that has already formed without having any
idea what the line is for.
17. When required, most any vehicle will float--doesn't steer well, but
floats just the same.
18. Hurricanes do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.
19. Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
20. Cell phones sometimes work when land lines are down, but only as long
as the battery remains charged.
than you, and they are quick to point that out!
22. Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
23. If I had a store that sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and
generators...I'd be rich.
24. The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane.
25. Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing
hole.
26. Tree service companies are under appreciated.
27. MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30%
higher electric bill ?????
28. Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's
worthless.
29.
hot and sticky. Why add to the mess!
