And I don't feel welcome.
Suddenly I'm here.
And I don't approve.
Suddenly this happens.
And I don't want to be welcome.
Suddenly things start to happen.
(God, If I were anywhere but here.)
Here, forced into the middle.
Forced to take it all in so quickly.
Forced to accept it.
Even to welcome it.
Shame like fire blinding my senses.
Fear like pure pain shredding me whole.
I can't go back now.
After this. This... There are no words.
Words have escaped me.
Hopeless absence when I reach to hold on.
So desperate just to hold on.
Onto anything else.
I am forced into this dark envalope.
Boiling in spoiled puerility.
Surrounded and inhabited
By the very skin of evil.
Forbiden from feeling anything.
Anything but agony.
And agony is in everything.
In his smile.
In his touch.
In his breath.
In his presence.
If he could just leave me be.
If he could just leave me.
Leave me here.
Maybe I could have a chance.
And I could just let the agony implode within me.
Trapped here with lonliness and evil as company.
With his skin.
With his touch.
His breath.
His words.
This agony.
Tearing at my skin,
Ripping through my veins,
Through my pores,
Down my throat.
Using my touch.
Stealing my breath.
Leaving it empty.
Leaving it fearing more.
It won't stop.
Why won't it stop.
I ask no one.
No one answers.
A brief relief as agony begins to end.
A brief relief replaced by trembing senses.
A world well known, replaced by the space surrounding.
Now I stare.
But I don't see.
He's taken it all from me.
