You Know You Are in California If:
-You make over $250,000 a year and still can't afford a house.
-It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work and hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
-Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
-You can't remember... is pot legal?
-You've been to a baby shower for an infant who has two mothers and a sperm donor.
-You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and can taste the
difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
-You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
-You can't remember... is pot legal?
-A really great parking space can move you to tears.
-The guy in line at Starbucks, wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses, and looks like George Clooney,
IS George Clooney.
-Your electric bill costs as much as your house payment.
-Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
- It's sprinkling out, and there's a report on every news channel about "THE STORM!"
- Hey... is pot legal?
-Over 85% of the cities, towns, and streets start with San, Los, El, La, Santa, De La, or De Los.
-Two overcast days in a row drive you mad.
-A family of four owns six vehicles.
- Everyone who lives here knows that hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and snowstorms are way worse than earthquakes, which are, after all, over almost as soon as you realize what's happening.
-Even if the store is across the street, you drive there.
-Yeah, you're sure...? pot is legal.
- And finally, a question:
Q. How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. Californians cannot afford to turn on the lights.