God Overturns Supreme Court Decision
GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT
Bush to be Smitten Later Today
In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one
nation,
under God" clause of the amended Pledge of Allegiance to overrule
last night's Supreme Court decision that handed the White House
to George Bush.
"I'm not sure where the $%^& Supreme Court gets off,"
God said this morning
on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lie
back and let Bush get away with this @#!%$(*&&."
"I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact
vote count in
Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who
voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly
20,719 votes."
Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected
verdict
overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al
Gore, giving him a 292-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing
God's Word for possible grounds for appeal.
"God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush
campaign strategist
Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential
Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution
of the state of Florida."
"Jim Baker's a #@!%$," God responded. "He's
got some surprises ahead of
him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean."
God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida
precinct,
explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no
grounds to give the White House to "a Me-damned idiot."
"Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for
Buchanan. Get
real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name
them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt,
Ron..."
Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with
George W.
Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him
today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God
has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth
and possessions, sold his family into slavery, forced the former
presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him
with deep boils.
Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.