HOW TO MESS WITH THE IRS
--Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and
put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove
the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples in
the right side.
--Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing
the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way
they have to remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork
and re-staple it (on the left side).
--Line the bottom of your envelope with glue and let it dry
before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener
doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
--If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two
or three party check.
--On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the
dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no
matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special
desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
--Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received
has to read and stamped regardless of what it is or what its
on.
--Write your letter on something misshapen and
unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.
--If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly
envelope to your half destroyed form.
--Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign
fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
--Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to
verified and then date stamped.
--When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its
just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and
sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added
bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over
other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your
mess.
NOTE: These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you
can do with the man. These methods are only recommended when
you owe money.