Could I Get a Mortgage?
Ever deal with FHA?
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan
would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property
being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803,
which took the lawyer three months to track down.
After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply
(actual letter): "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's
loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and
presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title
to the proposed collateral back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded,
it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I
note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered
by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this
country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that
Louisiana was purchased by the U.S. from France in 1803, the year of origin
identified in our application.
"For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the
land prior to U. S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired
it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain
by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher
Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India
by the then reigning monarch, Isabella. The good queen, being a pious woman
and careful about titles, almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of
securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus'
expedition.
"Now the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ,
the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part of the world called
Louisiana. He, therefore, would be the owner of origin. I hope ... you find
His original claim to be satisfactory.
"Now, may we have our ... loan?"
They got it.