OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES . . .

If you don't understand life... just ask the kids...



A Sunday school teacher was discussing the
Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the
commandment to "honor thy Father
and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?" Without
missing a beat one little boy (the
Oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall
not kill."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood. Trying to make
the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I
stood on my head, the blood, as
you know, would run into it, and I would turn
red in the face. "Yes, sir," the
boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position,
the blood doesn't run into my feet? A little
fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty."

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,
Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue
over who would get the first pancake. Their mother
saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
"Let my brother have the first pancake. I can
wait." '
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus."

A father was at the beach with his children
when his four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore,
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son
asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"

After the church service a little boy told the pastor,
"When I grow up, I'm going to
give you some money."
"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest
preachers we've ever had."

A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their
six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the
blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these
people to dinner?"

A mother
was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer.
For several
evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after
the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride to the carefully
enunciated words, right up to the end. "And lead
us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail"...

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible
with fascination, and looked at the old pages as
he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an
old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the
pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered:
"I think it's Adam's suit!"

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read,
"The man named Lot was warned to take his wife
and flee out of
the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
His son then asked, "What happened to the flea?"

A three-year-old boy went with his dad
to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly
informed his mother,
"There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens."
How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked
them up and looked underneath," he replied.
"I think it's printed on the bottom."

Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself.
His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said,
"Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!."

On the first day of school, about mid-morning,
the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has
to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked,
"How will that help?"

A mother and her young son returned from the
grocery store and began putting away the groceries.
The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread
them all over the table.
"What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken"
the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."


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