Translations....
TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"We need" = I want
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
"We need to talk" = I need to complain
"Sure, go ahead" = I don't want you to.
"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"Are you listening to me?" = Too late, you're dead
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something
expensive.
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today
that
you're really not
going to like.
"If you don't know why I'm upset, I'm not going to tell
you" = Go sleep in
the garage.
TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH:
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
"I'm tired" = I'm tired
"Nice dress" = Nice cleavage!
"I love you" = Let's have sex now
"You look so pretty today" = Let's have sex now
"I'm bored" = Let's have sex now
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex is out of the question
"I love you, too" = Ok, now that I said it, let's
have
sex.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like
to have
sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like
to have
sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually
like to
have sex with
you.
"Will you marry me?" = I'd like to make it illegal
for
you to have sex
with other men.
"Lets talk" = I'm trying to impress you by showing
that
I'm a deep person
and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"I don't think those shoes go with that outfit"
= I'm gay