Walls of Offence
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Society teaches us that we can make snap decisions and then change the results of those decisions simply by saying we are sorry, or offering some form of instant recompense. We somehow think its ok to do as we feel at the moment, and others around us or even those directly affected by our hastiness, will accept our blunderings without us having to face the circumstances of our irrationalities. We insist that (Mathew 18:21 & 22) some how magically makes it ok for us to plunder the emotions and feelings of others and when we realize what we have done, they have to let it go and accept things as though it had never happened. Instantly the one who has been hurt or offended is to act as though no offence had been made. Oh, how selfish an act for us to expect such from others, are we so important that others must accept our offences when we do not take the time to examine the possible results of our own action? Is it our Lord's intent for us to boldly demand others to accept our emotional decisions without first examining the possibilities ahead for our self? We, as the children of God, are to walk in forgiveness, but we are NOT supposed to walk in blindness, stupidity, nor ignorance.
Let us consider very cautiously; Gal 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (KJV) ... and let us understand that we will reap the effects of our snap decisions and irrational actions, whether we want to or not.
When we tear down a wall by something we have done or said, we must take the time needed to rebuild or reestablish the damage we have caused. We must be willing to submit our self to the fact that we are the one who committed the offence and allow those whom we have offended or hurt to heal. (As quickly as my body heals itself, it still takes time to do so). So it is with the healing process when we are offended or we offend others, after forgiveness is offered and received, it still takes time and often leaves terrible scars.
So, are we to forgive instantly when some one hurts or offends us and then says they are sorry? Yes! … But let us also remember that even though we did not intentionally hurt or offend that other person, the fact remains that they are hurt or offended. It is up to us to help that person to see that it was unintentional and that we are sorry for having done or said what we did. This is part of the healing process and it takes time for the wound to close, and even more time to heal. Does it mean that the one who was hurt or offended cares less about us because they are now cautious toward taking us at face value? No! It simply means that the healing process is in progress, let us lovingly and submissively help them to see that we did not do it on purpose and that we would like to some how make true amends to them, this takes “time”, … for us not to allow that time of healing is very selfish and inconsiderate on our part.
Let us take to heart the words of Paul and James;
Rom 12:9-16
9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
(KJV)
James 1:26
26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.
James 3:5-6
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. (KJV)
As the walls of Jerusalem were torn down quickly, yet it took Nehemiah a great while to restore; … he took the time needed to see that the wall was rebuilt with proper strength to withstand the enemy’s onslaughts of attack. So also we must take the time to rebuild the damaged walls around our relationships when we cause others hurt or offence.
Let’s quit “hurrying” through life and “take the time” needed to live well with others. …. Life is too short to be in such a rush!