At 22 weeks we found out that we were having a girl. The whole family was there. We hardly noticed all the other measurments they were taking. The appointment lasted for almost two hours. The radiologist didn't say anything at that time. The next day I was at home and got the call. I can hardly remember anything the doctor said, except that he said he was sorry. That sealed it. I freaked out immediately after I hung up the phone.
Within the two weeks another US was done and I was meeting with a perinatologist who asked me if I would consider termination. He told me that based on what they were seeing they anticipated severe mental retardation, and a poor quality of life overall.
Throughout the duration of my pregnancy I went in for routine ultrasounds and one fetal MRI. All tests showed Sierra's condition was getting worse... and fast. Her cyst grew, but her lateral ventricles stayed about the same. I took that to be good enough news to celebrate. Five weeks before her birth, we had a final ultrasound. At 33 weeks, this revealed her head size to be that of a full term baby. A c-section was scheduled for 38 weeks gestation.
As I drove home that last day, I felt a great release in my soul. During the final weeks of my pregnancy I surrendered to loving my baby, whoever she might be. Maybe it was a hormone surge. Maybe it was divine grace. Whatever the cause, I felt good and ready.
I chose a neurosurgeon at Children's Hospital in Seattle. I looked into programs for special needs children. I studied infant massage. I obsessively read through the Yahoo DW groups' archived messages looking for insight. I read books about the brain, the mind, the body and the soul. I prepared, not as if going into battle, but because I wanted to give my daughter a good life. I wanted to be able to accept her and fullfill her needs and more.
Just double click.