etc
I could go on and on about the kinds of things you're likely to see in your average computer game.
Fuck, I could go on and on about the kinds of things you're likely to see in 80's action films: explosion after explosion after explosion. But anyway.
So when I go to see a film and I get a video game I'm a bit shocked. Okay, fine, I knew the new Star Wars was going to be bad, and havea ridiculous amount of cgi in it.
BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I wasn't expecting that much.
Why anyone would bother putting so much effort into something so stupid is beyond me. I mean sure, there will probably be thousands of Star Wars pricks creaming themselves when the DVD comes as as they go through it frame-by-frame checking out every detail.
I'll never understand that and frankly I don't want to. For all I care those guys can sit around jacking it to Jabba and Hut all day.
But the point is the cgi. And yes, it's Star Wars. It's set in space with some bullshit intergaspastic war going on so you can expect a certain amount of cgi and whatnot.
Thing is, cgi is everywhere in films now. It's infecting virtually every genre. These days it seems an action film isn' an action film without a few grand cgi explosions or landscapes or what have you.
It's just not necessary.
Action films were doing fine back in the 80's when cgi was barely around. Explosions were real, stunt men risked their lives to give us the stupidest escapes imaginable. And now? We get dodgy looking cgi characters twisting all over the place because it's too dangerous for a real guy to do that. Bullshit. Stunts are stunts. It's that sense of danger that took the film to the next level and really got the audience on the very edge of their seats. Like, "fuck! that guy is being suspended from certain death by a few wirse just for my entertainment!" That's dedication.
Example: John McClane leaping off the roof of Nakatomi Plaza, or Richard Kimble diving off of the prison bus a split-second before the train rams it. These kinds of stunts made the audience go "WOOOAAAHHHH!!!"
Now, apart from the rejects, audiences go "eh"
The fun of films has gone. The originality of films has gone.
It's all bloated, over-used cgi crap, recycled garbage plots, no talent actors and join-the-dots direction.
Sean Connery recently said fuck off to Hollywood and basically retired, because he was sick of the shit the biggest film industry in the world has become.
Sure, you get the odd piece of brilliance coming out of mainstream Hollywood, but for the most part, things are seriously fucked.
What's more, all these new action films are taking themselves so seriously. I mean come on! Action films are ridiculous! The 80's action films may have a serious story but they are just fun things to watch. They do not take themselves seriously. In 1997 Con Air was released and it seemed this line of thinking was making a return (as well as the I can't believe it's Bond parody The Rock a year earlier); a great action film; full of fun, over-the-top characters, utterly insane plotting and hilarious one-liners. This film did not in any way take itself seriously. Hey! It looks like things are going back to the way they should be.
Wrong.
Action films, by and large, did not follow in these films's footsteps. To this day, they still take themselves too seriously with director's and producer's thinking they have a new masterpiece each time.
Fuck it. I'm getting close to the bottom of the page and I have no interest in starting a new page.
CGI is fucking shit, films that look like video games should have controllers attached and Hollywood needs to take a long, hard look at itself and find its soul again, otherwise films are fucked.