and most importantly the idiots who use it
Now here's the thing; I don't utterly hate buses, but I am not especially fond of them either.
On the bad side of things, I have to put up with:
- lateness
- earlyness, which invariably leads to longer lateness
- cramped seating positions, unless I get lucky (which to be fair is quite often [sometimes I get so lucky I can stretch my legs and rest them on the large piece of plastic that I can only assume is where the wheel is])
- too many people
- old people
- people who ask me where I got my trainers from, when I have no idea, then decide to attempt to continue the conversation after I have told them this
- how I have to turn the sound up on my mp3 player in the (admittantly rare; it's happened twice) situation that I am forced to sit at the back, where the engine is
- people with silly tattoos
On the plus side, I can attempt - usually succeeding - to ignore all this and listen to music.
Getting the bus is shit, but to be honest it's not that bad. But actually, I have lost the point and gone off on a tangent even before I have introduced the topic at hand.
The actual point of this little rant regards the way in which people disembark buses and trains. Particually buses.
What usually happens, is when the bus/train gets near their stop/station, they get up from their slightly-more-comfortable-than-standing seat and go and stand by the doors.
?!
Excuse me, but what are you doing? The doors are not going to open and allow you to leap out to save those extra precious seconds. All you're going to achieve is to look like an idiot when you invariably don't hold onto something and stumble around when the bus/train stops and the doors actually open.
Now in some ways, this kind of behavior is acceptable on trains.If the train is packed for instance, there is an outside chance you won't be able to get out of your seat and off the train, especially if you are sitting a little bit away from a door. In such a case, fine, go stand next to the doors. This is especially true on the underground, as it has almost happened to me a few times.
On trains, the driver has no idea what station you want to get off at. A bus driver, on the other hand, knows exactly where you want to get off before you get off. Those little red buttons tell him. So what you do is, you press one when you are fairly near to your stop, then sit there until the bus stops. Then you get up and get off. Simple. Fuck, there are even signs on the bus that say 'do not leave your seat whilst the bus is moving.' Of course, no-one, least of all the driver, gives a flying fuck about these, but hey, they are there.
Anyway, the point is, the bus driver isn't going to stop and leave because there's no-one standing by the door like a lemon. He will wait as you get up from your seat, walk to the door and get off. What's more, he will see all this in his mirror. I have even seen people stumbling down the stairs on double deckers, just so they can stand by the stairs. I know that buses are not the nicest environment, but the need to get off of them surely isn't that great.
Sit down, relax as best you can, and when the bus stops, get up. Don't fucking fall into me because you think you're playing time trials. And yes, I know I use it too, smartarse.