| Quotes I Like |
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| "And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." -George Burns "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." -Sharon Stone "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee-the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." -Dan Rather (News anchorman) "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." -Tiger Woods "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master." -Jesse Jackson "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." -Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady) Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."-Robin Williams "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" -Dustin Hoffman "Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." - Baroness Edith Summerskill "My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner "Statistics shows that old people drive as well as sleep-deprived apes." -Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons) "Ironically, they're (seniors) driving around with the organs of the teenagers they ran over." -Chief Wigum (The Simpsons) |