

Biography
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 ANDRE
THERIAULT
 34

MARITAL BLISS

CRUISE DIRECTOR

ANSE-BLEUE, NB
 "I
ain’t dead yet!”
 SONY CLIE
Andre's Biography
Andre lives in Fredericton with his lovely wife Stacey and
their lovely cats, Athena and Purl, and their new dog, Foxy. Andre has lived on both Canadian
coasts and until recently has refused to say he was from anywhere
but Halifax, the land of his birth and the Bluenose. However,
recently he has admitted a hometown advantage in Anse-Bleue where most of
his family resides.
Andre is still not dead, but he is now bionic. After undergoing open-heart surgery six years ago, Andre has recently had an Implantable Cardioverter-Defibrillator installed, factory-direct to him! He can still drink, just not as much. If you see him collapse, feel free to poke him with a stick. His status of "Alive" has, of course, put a temporary halt to the Andre Theriault Memorial Cruise, much to the chagrin of his many wives and
followers who must suffer through his incessant attempts at haiku poetry,
his uncanny ability to turn your favourite song into an annoying parody,
and his obsession with television, in particular his 24 hour a day
preoccupation with "Survivor."
Andre was the only sober survivor, and as such was the
"designated walker" of the group and made sure everyone made it
back to their beds at night. Four years ago, Andre threw up his soul after a fun
night with Pierre, The Captain, and Jose. He did have the presence of
mind to dig his own hole in the sand first, so that's something.
Andre’s birthday is August 3, 1973, making him a lovable
Leo. This year, he turns 35, a continuation of his lifelong goal of
being older than Jesus was when he died.
Andre THINKS he is most like the real Survivor, Greg.
His fellow survivors think he is in a league of his own, a combination of
Richard's scheming, Sean's misspent IQ, and Greg's offbeat sense of
humour.
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