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| Redrose says: depends Lavicka asks: ok crimson.. but what makes someone able to deal with that and get over it where another cant? Rebecca says: I agree with Crimson. I'm not so sure it is a learned behavior as much as it emerges at the first exposure they have to having someone else take their place... or part of it. Crimson says: A couple things... Lavicka asks: is it just something about that person or is it the people around them and the assurance they get in their lives? Redrose says: and I am not that trusting of people in general Crimson says: The family has to affirm the first child... Lavicka asks: ok.. someone explain to me then why i am incredibly trusting when it comes to people and me, but not when it comes to people i love? Redrose says: someone needs to tell the family that Crimson says: That he/she has a new role... not that he/she has been replaced Lavicka laughs, 'nevermind... that was a retorical question' Crimson says: Not being the center of the universe is something you learn to deal with... Redrose says: maybe that is why I crave it as an adult :) Lavicka says to Crimson: i agree... but how? do we just wake up one day and understand it all? Crimson nods Crimson says: Nooooooo Crimson says: Well... partly I think it's in our growing capacity to understand... Crimson says: Some of that is innate... Redrose says: I know I got lost growing up one day I was daddy's little girl then he remarried.. I wasnt jealous of my siblings but of the other woman in my fathers life Crimson says: Much like the way we come to understand that an object still exists when we cant see it Lavicka says to Redrose: so is this something youve resolved with yourself or is it still a problem? Lavicka says: i know growing up, i was incredibly jealous of every boyfriend my mom ever had. they were a threat to me Redrose says: I grew up Crimson says: Yes, I think experiences like that can arrest the process of coming to terms with that fact you're not the center of the universe Lavicka nods and smiles Redrose says: my father and I have never been close again as we were then Lavicka asks: so are we saying that osmone who has a knack for being jealous in a relationship feels they need more attention from the other person or think they should be enough to keep that person happy? Lavicka ask: is it simply a matter of having your feelings hurt when you find out they might want more than just you? Crimson says: Yup Lavicka says: hmmmmm Crimson says: Oh... that was to the earlier question Lavicka says: well, im not sure weve come to any conclusions here, but definitely a good discussion :) Laavicka says: our hour is up.. feel free to keep talking, if you like though :) |
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| Jealousy Discussion Page 9 |