Maid in Manhattan (page 2)

Which brings me back to last month, and The New Jennifer Lopez Movie.   And my review: DO NOT SEE!!!  This movie sucks!  I’m not sure exactly what parts of it suck, because I didn’t actually see it.  I imagine most movie reviewers watch the movie before they review it, but I didn’t feel like I needed to.  I saw an ad for it (over and over and over, coincidentally enough at about the exact same time Barbara Waters put J Lo (or was it Jenny?) on ABC prime time for an hour to ask cute questions about crap no one should have cared about.  I wonder if ABC and Columbia Pictures are part of the same corporation...).  Anyway, here’s what I gathered from the ad:  Jennifer, neh J Lo, neh Jenny from the Block, she’s a maid from the Bronx.  (The Bronx is her block, apparently.)  Oh and she’s tough.  And she is divorced or widowed or an unwed mother, (i.e. unlucky in love).  But she puts on a dress and wham she’s gorgeous.  Then there’s this rich guy, also gorgeous (Ralph Feines’ filmography: Schindler’s List (Best Picture Oscar), The English Patient (Best Picture Oscar), Made in Manhatten) who sees gorgeous J Lo I mean Jenny from the block, and falls in love.  But, of course, movies have conflicts, so here’s one good for about 90 minutes: he doesn’t know she’s a maid!!!  The writers of Three’s Company are still kicking themselves for not thinking up this gem.   At one point, Jen is trapped in the kitchen of his hotel suite, dressed in her maid outfit, but he’s so in love that he doesn’t notice her.  (OK, I lied. I saw five minutes of this masterpiece while waiting to sneak into The New Star Trek Movie).   The film also “features” a cute kid, an ethnically diverse group of Jenny’s friends who probably sing, and some snobby rich people who are really self-centered.   I won’t give away the ending. One last thing: At the 2002 Nobel Peace Prize Concert, a dozen or so performers sang tributes to the winner, Jimmy Carter.  Willie Nelson sang a great song about Georgia, Carter’s hometown.  Josh Groban sang something uplifting (I couldn’t make out the words), and Vanessa Carleton busted out her guitar for a Carter serenade.  J Lo sang “I’m Just Jenny From The Block”. NEXT MONTH: The best movies and performences of 2002, AND a review of Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break Edition.  And I promise you I’ll watch it.

Jennifers better than Lopez

Connelly, A BEAUTIFUL MIND

Garner, ALIAS

Esposito, SPIN CITY

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